Dormouse
by katzsoa
Summary: Before the Frabjous Day, before Alice ever set foot into Underland, there was a young dormouse named Mallymkun...
1. Chapter 1

"Where _is _that girl?" Ferramin the dormouse asked, glancing around for what must have been the tenth time that morning. "I swear, she's never anywhere that you want her to be."

"And she's always everywhere that you _don't _want her to be," his wife, Prinee, added in exasperation. "Has _anyone _seen Mallymkun?" she asked their family, standing behind her in a large group of pups, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

Everyone shook their heads or gave a variation of "no."

"She wasn't home when we woke up," their son Kedanir said.

Prinee sighed. "She'll show up when it suits her fancy, I guess. But, really! She ought to set a better example for her younger siblings…"

"There she is!" someone called. All eyes turned to the approaching dormouse, running on all four legs and yet somehow managing to not trip over the long splinter of wood tied to her waist, sword-style. The latecomer was wearing a white shirt and riding breeches, which were damp with sweat.

"Mallymkun. How nice of you to deign to join us," Ferramin sarcastically greeted her.

"Good morning, everyone," Mallymkun said, ignoring the comment.

"Where _have _you been?" Prinee interrogated her daughter. "And what is _that?_" she added, indicating the shirt and breeches.

"I've been around," Mallymkun replied with a practiced air of nonchalance. "I've been exercising and practicing my swordplay since dawn. And 'that,' Mother, is _clothes._ Anyone with half an ounce of self-respect wears them."

"It's just a fad," Ferramin said. "Clothes can't do anything for a mouse that fur can't."

Mallymkun shook her head. "When are you going to realize that there's a world outside the mouse hole?"

"We _are _outside the mouse hole!" Prinee pointed out, completely missing the point, in Mallymkun's opinion. "The question is, when are _you _going to give up your little games and start acting like a mouse your age should? It's high time you found a mate and started a family."

Mallymkun made a disgusted face. "Do I _look _like I want to become a naked, lazy, fat pup-making machine?"

All of the dormice present who'd ever mothered pups took offense. The pups themselves glanced at each other and shrugged. This argument was by no means a new one.

"Family is a necessity, Mallymkun," her father reproached. "Someday, you'll need someone else. And unless you make yourself into someone less selfish and possibly even _likeable, _you won't have anyone."

"I don't need anyone," Mallymkun snarled, fingering the splinter. "I never have, and I never will. I'm making sure that I can survive in the world, and that's more than you can claim, even if you surround yourself with a hundred other mice!"

Prinee opened her mouth to speak again, but Ferramin laid a paw on her shoulder.

"We'll talk more about this later," he said. "Now, we'd better go before we miss the festivities."

Mallymkun maintained an expression of indifference as her family walked away. She made no move to follow them.

Kedanir paused as he passed his sister.

"So, what's your plan for the day?" he muttered, glancing behind him to make sure their parents weren't watching.

"The same as everyone else's, until it gets boring," she replied. "But at least I'll have a better view."

"A better view—Mally, have you been climbing trees again? It's too dangerous. I'll—"

"You'll what, tell Mother?" Mallymkun challenged. "What'll _she _do, climb up after me? Ask a _human _or a _bird _to get me down?"

She turned and began to walk away.

"Mally, wait," Kedanir said, following her. "We're from the same litter, Mally. Just listen to me for a moment…"

Something rustled in a nearby bush, and a four-legged figure emerged, towering over the two dormice.

"Run!" Kedanir squeaked, sprinting off into the foliage. Mallymkun stood her ground, drawing her splinter and staring defiantly upwards, silently daring the animal to attack.

The bloodhound blinked at her in surprise. For a few moments they just stood there, staring at each other. Finally, the bloodhound lay down, putting himself at eye-level with the dormouse.

"What were you planning to do with _that?_" he asked, looking at the splinter.

"I could do a lot of damage, if I felt like it," Mallymkun replied.

"I'll be careful to stay on your good side, then," the bloodhound said with a smile. "I'm Bayard Hamar. Do you live here?"

"I'm Mallymkun, and yes, I do," the dormouse said, sheathing her splinter. "But _you_ don't."

"Correct," Bayard said. "You might say that I'm here on vacation. My wife's been trying to get me to relax and enjoy myself for weeks."

"And you chose Witzend for your 'vacation' because the White Queen was coming here, too?" Mallymkun guessed.

"It's practically an ensured party," Bayard said, nodding. "I don't like leaving my wife so late in her pregnancy, but we have plenty of good neighbors in the Tulgey Woods…"

"You've come all the way from Tulgey Woods?" Mallymkun exclaimed, excited. "That's almost as far away as Marmoreal! What's it like there?"

Bayard shrugged, surprised at her enthusiasm. "There are more trees there than there are here, and fewer humans," he said. "I think it's very nice…I'm sorry, I don't know what you want to know."

"Anything," the dormouse replied. "I've never left this part of Witzend, although I probably know more about it than anyone else you'll meet here."

"I don't doubt it," Bayard said.

A trumpet fanfare from the town met their ears.

"It sounds like it's time to head in." Bayard stood up. "Will I be seeing you at the festival?"

"Maybe later," Mallymkun said.

"Well, it's been very nice chatting with you, Mallymkun," the bloodhound said. He walked off towards the town center.

Mallymkun waited a few seconds, and then rolled her eyes.

"You can come out now, Ked," she sighed.

Kedanir cautiously crept out from his hiding place.

"You're _mad,_" he gasped, still trembling from what he had been sure was a near-death experience.

"Yes, and I'm enjoying it, too," Mallymkun retorted, walking over to a nearby tree. "Now, are you coming?"

"No _thanks,_" Kedanir said. "You know, you're going to get yourself killed someday, Mally."

"Whatever, Ked." Mallymkun began to climb the tree, feeling for handholds in the bark and easily pulling her own weight up the trunk.

Kedanir watched her fearfully until she'd sat down on a high branch. Then he shook his head and ran off to join his family.

Mallymkun didn't have to look down to know that he was gone. The fact didn't bother her. She was much more comfortable on her own, achieving things by her own means.

At least Kedanir usually didn't tell her that her own means were wrong, like everyone else did.

_We'll laugh about it later, _she thought. _The trees, the dog…it's all life out here, and if he isn't willing to live it, at least he'll hear about it…_

Mallymkun scanned the crowd below, looking at all the well-dressed humans. There were even a few animals in the crowd, most of whom were wearing at least a waistcoat. Her eyes passed over the hollow log that she knew her family was watching from, out of sight.

Most of the people below her she could have called out by name, despite having never talked to them. Mallymkun spent her days watching and listening, which was how she'd learned about such things as swords, clothes, and other regions of Underland. She'd heard about the Oraculum, which recorded all the days of Underland from its birth to its death, the Red and White Queens and their unending struggle for the throne, and Outlandish monsters such as the Jubjub Bird and the Bandersnatch, who had never been defeated or tamed. The young dormouse's wish was to see such things for herself.

Mallymkun turned her attention back to the crowd. Most of the humans belonged to the Hightopp clan, a family of hatters so well-renowned that there was always a Hightopp in the royal court. The dormouse quickly spotted Tarrant Hightopp, the current Royal Hatter, standing out amongst the white-clad courtiers with his orange hair and dark coat and top hat. She saw him smile and wave at someone on the other side of the clearing, probably a relative.

The fanfare played again, and a young woman on a white horse rode into view. Everyone bowed to her. Mallymkun thought that she must be Mirana of Marmoreal, the White Queen. Everything about her was white—her dress, her skin, her hair—but she wore black lipstick, and the crown on her head had light blue gems on it. The Queen smiled at her people.

_She looks kind, at least, _Mallymkun thought. She knew very little of rulers besides what she'd overheard. Her family certainly never spoke of them unless one came to town, like today.

The people gradually rose again, and some musicians and dancers began to perform. Mallymkun leaned back against the tree trunk, listening to the music and chatter below. This was the way to live, not hiding in terror from predators that rarely ever showed up—

"It's all very lovely, isn't it?"

Mallymkun jumped. Suddenly, sitting next to her on the branch was a large, striped, blue-gray cat! It grinned at her widely, showing all of its pointed teeth. The dormouse was on her feet, splinter in hand almost immediately, simultaneously watching the cat for its next move and looking for the fastest and safest way down the tree.

"Now, what king of a 'hello' is that?" the cat said. "You might as well relax. I don't eat mice."

Mallymkun frowned. It wasn't easy to tell how civilized an animal was, particularly carnivores. He was talking to her, and that was a good sign, but he was still showing off his teeth. She kept her splinter raised.

The cat shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said, turning back to the people below. "The Queen certainly chooses her entertainers well," he added conversationally.

Mallymkun sat down again, keeping a wary eye on the cat. Everyone below seemed to be having a good time, merrily clapping in time with the music.

"It's really a shame that it won't last," the cat commented.

"What?" Mallymkun asked.

The cat's grin widened slightly. "Let's just say that the party's going to end just a little bit earlier than expected," he said.

"What are you talking about?" Mallymkun demanded.

"You'll see…"

Annoyed, Mallymkun went back to watching the festival. The musicians had finished their first song to much applause, and some acrobats were stepping forward to participate in the next number.

Suddenly, something huge blocked out the sun. A few people, Mallymkun included, glanced skyward in alarm.

"Uh oh, time to go," the cat said, vanishing. Mallymkun hadn't even had time to register that oddity before she made out bat-like wings and claws dark against the sky, and fiery-red eyes glaring down above an enormous, fanged mouth.

Someone screamed. Then the mouth opened and purple flames rained down on the town.

Mallymkun dashed back down the tree, missing a handhold and tumbling the last few feet. The air was burning hot, and all the young dormouse could hear as she stood up again were people screaming and the crackling of flames. All she could do was run, run far away from the chaos. At one point, she felt heat on her leg, and she glanced down to see that her splinter had caught on fire. She threw it away and continued to run, dodging tree branches as they fell to the ground in flames.

Gradually, the screams faded into the distance, and there were no more flames. Mallymkun slowed to a walk, glancing around. She didn't know where she was. There was less plant life here, and the grass felt very dry. The dormouse realized that she hadn't seen anyone else for a very long time.

She was all alone, far away from a home and a family that probably weren't there anymore.

Mallymkun, worn out and afraid, dragged herself over to a tree and fell asleep between its roots.


	2. Chapter 2

Mallymkun woke up from dreamless slumber to the sound of someone sniffing her. Her eyes flew open and she stared up in alarm at the large dog's nose for a few moments before she recognized the bloodhound.

"Bayard!" she gasped, scrambling to her feet.

"You're Mallymkun, right? I met you yesterday." Bayard said. The dormouse nodded. "Thank goodness I found you. I'd started to think…"

"What?" Mallymkun asked. "You'd started to think what?"

"Never mind," the bloodhound said.

Mallymkun glanced upwards. The sun was directly overhead.

"How long has it been?" she asked. "Since the…since the festival."

"That was yesterday," Bayard said. "Horunvendush Day."

"What _was _that thing, Bayard?" In her mind, Mallymkun could still see the dark figure against the sky.

"The Jabberwocky," the bloodhound replied. "The Red Queen's monster. She claimed the throne last night, and ordered the White Queen banished to Marmoreal."

Mallymkun climbed over one of the tree roots. "I should get back to Witzend. Where am I, anyway?"

"You're in Iplam, almost in Crims," Bayard said. "You ran very far, for a dormouse."

"I can handle far more than most dormice," Mallymkun snapped. "Now, if you'd just point me towards my home, I'll be on my way."

"Mallymkun…"

The dormouse glanced up at Bayard. "What?"

The bloodhound sighed. "Your home's gone," he said. "The Jabberwocky completely destroyed the area. I came back to search for survivors, and…Well, I've been searching nearly all day and…you're all I've found."

Mallymkun gaped. "No one else? They're all gone?"

Bayard nodded slowly. "From what I've heard, the Royal Hatter helped the White Queen and a few of her courtiers to safety. Everyone else…I'm sorry, Mallymkun. They're gone."

The dormouse could still see the clearing full of humans and animals in her mind. So many people, just…gone? The concept was inconceivable. But she'd seen the flames…and no one could have gotten out of the hollow log fast enough…

"Are you all right, Mallymkun?" Bayard asked.

"Of course I'm all right," Mallymkun quickly said, shoving her momentary emotions away. "I didn't have anyone to lose. I've just never left Witzend before."

She couldn't tell if Bayard believed her, but he didn't press her for answers.

"You should come with me, back to the Tulgey Woods," he said. "We're setting up a Resistance."

"Oh, yes!" Mallymkun said. "I'd love to come."

"Climb on." Bayard lay down for Mallymkun to get on his back, but she hesitated.

"I can walk," she said.

"Not this far," Bayard said. "Especially after all the running you did yesterday.

"Come on, Mallymkun," he added as she still didn't move. "We'll get there faster, and it's not like anyone will think the worse of you for it."

Mallymkun climbed up onto his back, desire for independence swayed by excitement for the journey ahead.

As Bayard stood up and ran southward, a kind of thrill rushed through the dormouse's body.

_I'm really leaving! _she thought. _I'm actually going somewhere, to do something new and exciting! Now, _this _is life!_

* * *

Over the course of that afternoon, Mallymkun got her first view of how diverse Underland was. Having grown up in the lightly-wooded Witzend, the fields of Iplam alongside the rocky deserts of Crims were strange and fascinating to her. Hearing about such places was absolutely_ nothing_ like seeing them in person! She tried to ask Bayard questions about the places and people they passed, but she didn't get many answers because it was hard for him to get breath for talking while running. Mostly, she just looked around, trying to take in and remember everything.

Soon, the trees of the Tulgey Woods towered ahead of them, tall and dark. Mallymkun looked up as they entered the woods and found that she could hardly see the sky through the thick, leafy branches.

Bayard slowed to a walk to navigate the trees more easily.

"It's not far now," he said.

"This is your home?" Mallymkun asked, looking around at the many plants. While most were like the trees and bushes of Witzend, the dormouse also saw incredibly brightly colored flowers, striped vines that twisted and turned, and a few plants that looked like outstretched limbs and hands. She watched those plants cautiously. She wouldn't have been surprised if one of them tried to grab her. Her hand reached for her splinter for reassurance, but then she remembered that she'd lost it back in Witzend.

"Yes," Bayard answered. "The Tulgey Woods is home to many animals, and even a few humans live in the clearings."

"Do you ever get lost?" To Mallymkun, the Woods seemed a confusing maze.

"I've been navigating the Woods since I was a pup," Bayard said. "A native, such as me, could lead you anywhere in the Woods without losing their way. An outsider would have a very difficult time. That is why we're basing the Resistance here. Even if the Red Queen sent her Red Knights here, we could easily disappear."

Mallymkun frowned slightly. Like it or not, she'd have to depend on Bayard or someone else when it came to moving around in the Woods. She silently vowed to learn as much as she could about the landscape as quickly as possible.

"…has to be something we can do," she heard a low voice say, its speaker as yet unseen.

"She has the Jabberwocky on her side!" a slightly higher-pitched voice quickly replied. "I don't suppose you've ever seen anything that horrendous!"

"We don't know yet how 'horrendous' it is," the first voice said again. "When Bayard returns with a report, _then_ we'll know for sure about the current situation."

Bayard entered a small clearing in the thick trees, which Mallymkun saw was already inhabited. There was a dodo bird and a rabbit, each wearing a waistcoat, who seemed to be in the middle of an argument. Also present were two short, bald, identical men in black-and-white striped shirts. All four glanced up at the bloodhound and dormouse's arrival.

"And here he is now," the dodo said. Mallymkun noted that he had been the first voice.

"What's left of Witzend, Bayard?" the rabbit asked. "And who is this?" he added, indicating Mallymkun, who wondered if he always spoke in that hurried, anxious tone.

"This is Mallymkun," Bayard said. "She's…well…" He lowered his voice. "She's the only survivor from the Jabberwocky attack."

Mallymkun frowned again. While it was polite of the bloodhound, she didn't like how delicate he was about the topic. It was like he thought she couldn't handle it—and she _could_. And now, the others were looking at her in _pity…_

"Oh, you poor dear," the rabbit said sympathetically. Mallymkun wanted to stab something.

"Mallymkun, this is Nivens McTwisp," Bayard introduced her to the rabbit. "And this is Uilleam," he indicated the dodo.

"And I'm Tweedledee," one of the short men said. "And he's Tweedledum," he indicated his partner.

"Contrariwise," said the other. "_I'm _Tweedledum, and _he's _Tweedledee."

"I just said that!" Tweedledee insisted.

"Not so," Tweedledum contradicted. "You said '_I'm _Tweedledee.'"

"No, I didn't, I said that _I _was—!"

"Will you two just stop bickering?" McTwisp snapped.

"We should decide what to do with the dormouse," Uilleam pointed out.

"I want to join the Resistance," Mallymkun said.

"Really!" a snotty voice said. "You don't look any older than a child."

"Kids these days," another voice agreed.

Mallymkun glanced around, searching for their sources.

"We're right here, girl!" said the first voice.

The dormouse realized that it was the _flowers _talking! Two long-stemmed flowers, one with red petals and the other with blue, were looking at her with small, black eyes.

"Stop gaping like that," said the blue flower. "It makes you look even more foolish than you already are."

Mallymkun grinned maliciously. "I was just imagining how you two would look with your petals torn off," she said.

The flowers gasped.

"What impudence!" the red flower exclaimed.

"Enough!" Bayard barked. "McTwisp, have you seen Bielle?"

"She's fine," the rabbit assured him. "She's staying with the flamingoes at the moment."

"What we need to do is establish our forces," Uilleam said. "I can imagine that there are still plenty of Underlanders loyal to the White Queen. If we round them up quickly, we may be able to end the Red Queen's reign as quickly as it began."

McTwisp shook his head. "I don't see how any army could stand up to the Red Queen's, while she has the Jabberwocky," he said.

"Why don't we consult Absolem?" Tweedledee suggested.

"No one's seen that caterpillar for months," Tweedledum scoffed.

"It's worth a try," McTwisp said, turning to Uilleam. "I'll search for Absolem. You head to Snud to find those sympathetic to our cause. The Tweedles can take Queast. Chances are, the news of the Red Queen's attack hasn't even reached there yet."

"What about that Royal Hatter, who helped the White Queen to escape?" Uilleam said. "What was his name? Trent? Torrent?"

"Tarrant," Mallymkun said. "Tarrant Hightopp."

"Yes, him," the dodo said, neglecting to ask her how she knew the Hatter's name. "He could be of great use to us, too."

The rabbit shook his head again. "As soon as the White Queen was safe in Marmoreal, he left for Witzend," he said.

"I'll go find him," Bayard said. "I've made the trip once today already."

"I'm coming, too," Mallymkun said determinedly.

The others hesitated. "Where did you find her, Bayard?" McTwisp asked.

"In Iplam, far from the damage," the bloodhound said.

"Then she hasn't seen its extent?"

"She hasn't," Bayard said. "And it should probably stay that way."

"Will you all stop treating me like a helpless pup?" Mallymkun exclaimed. "I survived, didn't I?"

"Really, it seems there's no use saying 'no' to her," said the blue flower.

Bayard sighed. "All right," he said. "Let's go."

Mallymkun smiled triumphantly.


	3. Chapter 3

Bayard's silence was more pronounced this time around, his disapproval evident. Mallymkun didn't quite understand why he was trying to be so protective of her.

_Does he see me as like his unborn pups that he mentioned earlier? _she thought. _I'm no pup! Why do people always think so little of me? Sure, I'm small size-wise, but even people smaller than me, other dormice—_

_What other dormice? _she interrupted her own thoughts. _Look what became of them, and not me!_

They were gone. That was why she wanted to go back, so that she could see it for herself, and bid good riddance to a life that she was glad to be done with. To cast off all ties, and to prove to everyone and, most importantly, to herself that she could do so.

Not that she doubted her abilities, of course. She was nothing if not confident. But it was starting to get dark when they reentered Witzend, and the growing smell of smoke in the air only heightened her apprehension. Mallymkun refused to let any anxiety show, especially when she began to see the damage.

The grass was gone, leaving behind charred earth. Trees stood black and leafless. Everywhere, green had given way to brown and gray. Even the sky seemed strangled by smoke. The humans' houses had been reduced to dark skeletons, and most still burned. Mallymkun turned her face from the hot flames, her eyes scanning the ground. Aside from the houses, there was no sign that anyone had lived here. There were no remains of people to be seen. Everything had been absolutely obliterated by the Jabberwocky.

_Almost everything, _the dormouse thought as Bayard stepped around what appeared to be part of a lady's hat.

"Wait," Mallymkun said, sliding off his back and walking over to the hat. Something glinted in the light—the red bead at the end of a hatpin still embedded in its hat. She pulled it out, ignoring the sharp heat on her front paws as she touched it, and made a few practice thrusts. The balance was a bit different than her splinter, but it felt good to be armed once more. She slid the hatpin through her belt and remounted Bayard, who then moved on without comment.

They found the Hatter in the clearing where the festival had been held. He was sitting on a rock and staring off into the distance.

Mallymkun knew the area like the back of her paw. The Hatter was sitting near where the hollow log that her family used to hide in should have been. The log was completely gone.

Bayard cleared his throat. The man looked down at them with large, bright green, sad eyes.

"Would you be Tarrant Hightopp, the Royal Hatter, by any chance?" Bayard asked.

The Hatter nodded. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Bayard Hamar, and this is Mallymkun," the bloodhound replied. "We're here to enlist you for the Resistance against the Red Queen."

Tarrant frowned slightly. "Why are you asking me?"

"You helped the White Queen to safety during the attack," Bayard said. "We need people like you."

"You don't need people like me," said the Hatter in a flat voice. "Take a look around you. Do you know what the Red Queen's done? What she's destroyed?"

"We were both here during the attack," Bayard said. "It was a great tragedy."

"My entire life was here," Tarrant sighed, looking around at the wreckage. "Family, friends…I couldn't save them. So what good am I?"

"None, if you're just going to mope about it," Mallymkun spoke up. Tarrant glanced at her sharply. Bayard opened his mouth to reproach her insensitivity, but she kept going, jumping up onto Tarrant's knee.

"You survived, yes? You made it. You're alive. So, now what? What's the point of surviving the past if you're just going to stay stuck in it? It's time to move on, Hatter. It's time to get up off the ground, turn away from the past, and show the future what you can do!"

"You don't know what you're talking about," the Hatter snarled.

"Yes, I do," retorted the dormouse. "I lived here."

"I lost my entire family, my friends, and my home, Mallymkun," Tarrant said. "What did _you _lose, dormouse?"

Mallymkun's eyes flickered to where the log used to be, then she determinedly turned her gaze back to the Hatter.

"The same," she said. "But it's nothing I can't live without. And the same goes for you!"

Suddenly, the Hatter sprang into action, bringing his hand around to hit the dormouse. Mallymkun reflexively drew the hatpin and, although she was slightly slower because of the unfamiliar weight, stabbed his palm as it neared her. Hatter pulled back sharply, but the momentum was still enough to knock her to the ground.

Mallymkun got up quickly, looking up at the Hatter, who had brought his hand up to his mouth. She could tell that she'd drawn blood. Tarrant glared at her, and for just an instant she could have sworn that his eyes were gold, and not green…

"Fine," the Hatter snapped, standing up. "I'll join. Lead the way, Bayard."

The dormouse climbed back onto Bayard's back.

"You're unbelievable," the bloodhound hissed to her.

Mallymkun said nothing. She wasn't sure why she'd unleashed all of her malice on this sad man. He hadn't done anything to her, but there something about this helpless, innocent Hatter that made her furious…

They were nearly in the Tulgey Woods again before she realized that Hatter was everything that she was afraid of becoming. He _missed _his family. He felt that he couldn't go on without them.

_But _I _don't, _she thought, curling her fingers around her new weapon. _I don't need anyone. I told my family so, and I'll do whatever it takes to prove to these people that I'm completely independent!_

**

* * *

****A.N.: I'm sorry for not posting for a while, and for putting up such a short chapter. My marching band schedule is crazy! I hope you're enjoying, anyways.**


	4. Chapter 4

"We might as well go to my place, since everyone else is out," Bayard said as they weaved through the Woods. Tarrant nodded wordlessly. Mallymkun made no response. Even though she'd only been awake for half of the day, she was exhausted. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open and hide her fatigue from the man and bloodhound.

Soon, they entered a clearing surrounded by several thick trees with holes in the bottom. Mallymkun realized that each tree was hollow, making a small neighborhood of one-room houses. In the moonlight, she could see another dog exiting one of the trees—a female bloodhound, swollen with pups and quickly followed by two flamingoes.

"Bayard!" the bloodhound called as the trio approached.

"Bielle!" he replied. Mallymkun slid off his back as he went to greet his wife. She stumbled slightly as she hit the ground, but to her relief no one seemed to notice.

The dormouse glanced around the clearing again. Despite the daunting trees in every direction, this place seemed homey in a way that was strange to her. The Woods were nothing like Witzend, but it felt good here.

She was vaguely aware of Bayard introducing her and Tarrant to his wife. This time, he didn't mention the fact that she had no family left, instead calling the two of them "volunteers for the Resistance." However, when Mallymkun looked up at Bielle she saw in the bloodhound's eyes the same kind of piteous sentiment nearly everyone used around her, when they were thinking, "oh, you poor dear, so small, young, and helpless."

Bielle voiced no such sentiments, to her credit. Mallymkun really didn't think she could take any more of that today.

"Of course you can spend the night here," she said. "However," she added, glancing up at Tarrant. "I'm afraid you won't be able to fit inside."

"That's all right," the Hatter said, sitting down with his back against the tree. "I'm comfortable enough."

It didn't look all that comfortable to the others, but no one argued. The bloodhounds thanked the flamingoes for their time and said good-night as the pink birds headed back to their own tree, and then they went inside their house. Mallymkun followed. As Bielle lay down, she beckoned for Mallymkun to come lie next to her, but the dormouse pretended not to notice, instead settling down next to the wall. She heard Bayard whispering to his wife, probably telling her in more detail who the dormouse and Hatter were.

Mallymkun didn't fall asleep for a while. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw smoke, flames, and glowing, red eyes on a dark silhouette in the sky. A small part of her wished that she was back in her old mouse hole with her numerous siblings and cousins, or at least curled up against Bielle's warm belly. The more stubborn part of her told that small part to shut up and go to sleep.

* * *

A loud banging on the tree wall woke her up from a dream in which she was running around in circles, trying to grab the hatpin from someone invisible floating above her head. For the second day in a row, it took her a moment to remember where she was. She ran outside, her hand on the hatpin, ready to draw. Immediately, she came face-to-face with a brown hare who was attempting to look through the doorway.

The hare blinked his wild eyes at her in surprise for a moment, and then said, "So, are _you _coming to tea today?" in a loud voice.

Mallymkun gaped, unsure how to respond, trying to decide if this hare was an imminent threat.

"Hello, Thackery," Bayard said, coming up behind Mallymkun. "Are you having another tea party?"

The hare nodded eagerly. "And if you don't come now, you'll be late!" he exclaimed.

"We're busy right now," the bloodhound politely declined. "Perhaps another day."

The hare shrugged and wandered over to another tree, where he proceeded to wake its occupants in the same manner.

"That's Thackery Earwicket," Bayard explained to Mallymkun. "Don't mind him. He's a bit mad, but he's harmless."

"Just be ready to duck if he's holding a teacup," a vaguely familiar voice purred from above. Mallymkun looked up to see the blue-gray cat watching lazily from a tree branch. In her mind, surprise slowly began to turn into fury.

"Good morning, Chessur," Bayard greeted the cat. "Mallymkun, Tarrant, this is Chessur. Chances are he knows who you are, even if you haven't met—"

"Oh, we've met," Mallymkun snarled.

"Really?" Bayard raised an eyebrow questioningly. Tarrant stood up and came around the tree to where they were standing.

"Two days ago," the dormouse said, glaring up at the cat, who was gazing back unconcernedly. "Only a few minutes before the Jabberwocky attacked. He _knew _it was going to happen, too!"

"What!" the Hatter exclaimed, glancing up sharply at Chessur.

"He said to me, 'the party's going to end early,'" Mallymkun told him.

"'Earlier than expected,'" the cat corrected, idly licking a paw and smoothing back his fur.

"You _knew!_" Hatter yelled. Thackery and several other animals turned to watch, attracted by the commotion. "And you didn't try to warn anyone?"

"I really didn't think that it was any of my business," Chessur said nonchalantly.

"None of your _business?_" the dormouse and hatter shouted simultaneously. Mallymkun couldn't _believe _the cat's indifference.

Chessur shrugged. "It's not like what happened was my fault."

The Hatter roared and lunged at the cat, whipping out a pair of scissors from one of his pockets and stabbing at the feline, who vanished before the blades touched him. Hatter yelled again furiously, whirling about, searching for Chessur. Mallymkun leapt out of the way of his feet. Bayard barked at Tarrant, but there was no response. The man seemed to have completely forgotten where he was. With his target gone, he slammed around wildly, yanking branches off of trees and forcing the other animals to flee in fear.

Mallymkun didn't run. She saw that his eyes were golden again.

_He doesn't know what he's doing, _she realized. This total senselessness absolutely terrified her.

"Hatter!" she screamed. "_Hatter! Stop!_"

And he did. He froze in place, blinking at his arm in confusion, which was raised over his head to strike an unseen foe. Very slowly, he lowered his arm and turned to face Mallymkun.

"What just happened?" he whispered.

"Are you all right?" Mallymkun asked.

Tarrant nodded. They both were trembling, the two of them now alone in the clearing, not thinking of the treacherous cat or even of what happened two days previously, but of the event that they had just been witness to. Green eyes looked deep into brown eyes, and they stood without saying a word. Mallymkun thought that it was like the two of them had walked in on each other while naked, and were seeing things that had been previously hidden.

Returning footfalls snapped both of them out of the mood that had held them so still. Mallymkun ceased her trembling with a thought, appearing completely composed once more. She tore her gaze from the Hatter's, silently cursing her moment of complete openness to this man and vowing to keep herself even more tightly closed. It would be best to just forget the incident.

Thackery was the first to return.

"I guess you don't want to come to tea, then?" he muttered.

"No, not particularly, Thackery," Mallymkun replied.

Next came Bayard, eyeing Tarrant cautiously.

"Where did that cat go?" the Hatter asked.

"Chessur comes and goes as he pleases," Bayard said slowly. "He's useful in that he sees almost everything, but he usually won't do something unless there's something in it for him."

"But he's not a bad cat," Bielle added as she walked up beside her husband. "Just a Cheshire one. I can't believe he'd let all those people die."

"Unless he knew that there was nothing he could do," a flamingo pointed out.

"That's no excuse," said Mallymkun.

"We can't afford to have arguments about this," Bayard said. "For now, we need all the allies we can get. You don't have to completely trust Chessur if you don't want to, but you can't deny that we _need _him."

Mallymkun decided she couldn't argue with that fact. _For now, at least, _she thought. A quick glance at Tarrant's face appeared to reveal that he was thinking the same thing.


	5. Chapter 5

Many days went by without major incidents. Mallymkun busied herself with learning the layout of the Tulgey Woods. She got lost a few humiliating times, but soon she could run from Bayard's neighborhood to Thackery's tea table without problems.

One day, she took a wrong turn and ended up in an area nearly devoid of trees. There was a stone path beneath her feet, which twisted through minor foliage and then rose like a staircase to a door that hung in midair. The dormouse stood at the base of the staircase for a while, looking up at the door curiously.

"That door's one of the ways to Overland," a voice explained. Mallymkun jumped, placing a hand on her hatpin as she turned to be face-to-face with the ever-grinning Cheshire Cat.

"You!" she exclaimed.

"Me," said Chessur.

"What are _you _doing here?" Mallymkun demanded.

"Why shouldn't I be here?" said the cat. "I could be anywhere, but I chose to be here. I'm usually anywhere. Even when I'm not around, chances are that I'm here."

"Just give me a straight answer, all right?"

"I really don't see why I should."

Mallymkun clenched her teeth. "You owe me."

"Do I?" Chessur raised an eyebrow. "What for?"

"You let my home be destroyed."

"The cat chuckled. "On the contrary," he said. "I _warned _you. So it looks like it's _you _who owes _me, _Mallymkun."

"Let's call it even," the dormouse snarled.

Chessur shrugged. "Very well, then."

"Why were you following me?" Mallymkun asked.

"Who said that I was following you?" Chessur replied. "Maybe I was just here and there, and both locations just happened to be this one, in which case this would be a coincidence."

He looked rather pleased with his answer. Mallymkun frowned, crossed her arms, and said nothing.

"However," the cat continued. "If I was following you, it might be because I either wanted to talk to you, or maybe I wanted to play a nice game of 'Cat and Mouse.'"

Mallymkun took a step back, drawing her hatpin again. "Not a chance," she said.

Chessur sighed. "I told you, I don't eat mice. Now, I might try one if it was cooked, but…anyway, I _am _a cat, and all cats _love _to play."

"You talk too much," said the dormouse. Chessur grinned even wider, displaying his teeth.

"If you're so fond of talking, then tell me this," Mallymkun continued. "You said that you warned me. Why, when you didn't help anyone else?"

Chessur seemed to think about the question. Then he shrugged again.

"I honestly couldn't say, Mally," he said.

"_We're from the same litter, Mally."_

"Don't say that name!" Mallymkun snapped, tensing.

"What, 'Mally?'" Chessur asked.

"_You know, you're going to get yourself killed someday, Mally."_

"Yes, that!" the dormouse hissed, fighting the urge to put her paws over her ears to drive out her brother's voice in her head.

"But 'Mallymkun' is such a mouthful," the cat complained. "Why can't I just—"

Her hatpin was aimed right between his eyes.

_Because only Ked called me 'Mally,' _she thought.

"Never. Use. That. Name. Again," she said instead. "Understood?"

"Whatever," Chessur said before evaporating.

Mallymkun glanced around to make sure that he was gone, and then stumbled over to a nearby mushroom. She let her hatpin drop to the ground and leaned against the mushroom's stalk, her head in her hands. Since Horunvendush Day, she'd managed to completely force away memories of her family through exploring, and through thoughts of how no one in her previous life had understood her. Every day, she reminded herself that she was an independent, wanting and needing no one. Hadn't she told her parents so? She knew that she was right, and was working hard to convince the other members of the Resistance of that fact. So why did suddenly remembering Kedanir hurt her so much?

Her brother, her litter-mate, the only other dormouse to ever listen to her ideas of a life that didn't involve helplessly hiding…

Mallymkun curled up under the mushroom, eyes shut tight.

_I don't miss him, _she told herself. _I don't want him. He was nice to have around, but now he's gone. I don't need him. I won't cry over him…_

But the tears were already gathering against her eyelids, and only the incredible willpower that she'd built up over the years kept them at bay.

_I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I especially don't need _him_._

"Mallymkun?"

The dormouse gasped. _Hatter. _She grabbed her hatpin and quickly crept backwards into denser foliage, trying desperately to get a grip on herself. No one could see her in this state, _especially _not him, who she'd already slipped up in front of once!

The Hatter walked around for a little while, searching for her. Mallymkun finally managed to clear her head and stepped into view.

"Hello, Hatter," she said coolly.

"There you are," Hatter said. "Bayard said that you were out here. Uilleam and the Tweedles have returned, and they've come with allies."

Mallymkun's face lit up. "Well, let's go, then!" she said, scampering back into the trees ahead of Tarrant.

But as she ran, she couldn't help but wonder how Bayard had known where she was. She hadn't said anything to him all day, and the only person she'd seen recently was…_Chessur!_ Had _he _told Bayard, who then told Hatter? Why would he do that? He had no reason to.

_Unless…unless he saw me upset, and wanted someone to make sure that I was all right…_

The thought was almost too disgusting to contemplate. Would _everything _she did give others reasons to pity her?

* * *

Long before they reached the clearing, Mallymkun could tell that many people had come. The Woods undergrowth was trampled in several places, and as she neared Bayard's neighborhood, she could hear voices and people shifting around.

A small crowd had gathered in the clearing, leaving very little room to move except for a space in the middle, where McTwisp stood. Mallymkun left Tarrant at the edge of the clearing, weaving around humans and animals to a spot in front.

"The Red Queen will be easy enough to overthrow," a man was addressing the rabbit. "Sure, she has an army, but the White Queen has one, too, and we're _her _loyal subjects."

"Now, now," McTwisp replied, wringing his front paws. "We mustn't forget about the Jabberwocky!"

"Jabberwocky?" a woman standing next to the man laughed. "I've heard that she has everything from the Jubjub Bird to the Bandersnatch on her side! It's all rumors. Has anyone actually _seen _this so-called 'Jabberwocky'?"

"I have!" Mallymkun announced, stepping forward defiantly. _How can these people be so disbelieving? _she thought

There was some slight confusion as the crowd tried to find the person who had replied. When the woman saw the dormouse, she laughed again. Mallymkun clenched her fists.

_Thinking so little of me…_

"I have seen it, too," Bayard said, coming up behind her.

"As have I," Hatter called, trying to make his way towards them through the crowd. "And so has the White Queen."

But Mallymkun could tell that there was still doubt.

"I suppose you think that half the population of Witzend just vanished, then?" she said coldly.

At that, many people started to talk at once, turning to each other, questioning and attempting to explain. Mallymkun's eyes met Tarrant's. He nodded grimly at her.

Suddenly, a loud screech resounded from above, hushing everyone. All faces turned to the sky. Swooping down upon them was an enormous bird, with striped wings, a long, curved beak, and lethal-looking talons.

"The Jubjub Bird!" someone cried.

The clearing burst into chaos. Some people managed to disappear into the Woods, mostly getting themselves lost in the process. Mallymkun watched in horror as the monstrous bird grabbed a man and a tove, one in each claw, rising again into the air and tossing them. She could hear the man's yells and the green pig's squeals as they fell out of sight.

Everyone was screaming and yelling and tripping over each other in their attempts to escape. A few of the smaller animals were trampled where they stood. Mallymkun dodged around limbs and feet, sprinting across the clearing. She felt a shadow cross her back and she jumped to the side, barely avoiding the Jubjub Bird's claws. The dormouse hit the ground and rolled back onto her feet, drawing her hatpin as the bird came back for another strike. As its foot reached for her with lightning speed, she threw her hatpin at it. It stuck, point-first, right in the center of the bottom of its foot.

The Jubjub Bird screeched in pain, thrashing about wildly. Trying to escape, Mallymkun was struck by the side of one of its claws and ended up flat on her back, winded. The bird hissed at her, then lunged, beak wide open and ready to bite her in two—

Tarrant's fist came out of nowhere, knocking the Jubjub Bird's beak aside as he grabbed Mallymkun with his other hand. The Hatter ran off into the Woods, carrying the dormouse and leaving the hurt, disgruntled bird and its other victims far behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

Soon the screeches and screams died away behind them, and the Hatter slowed to a walk. He kept Mallymkun held tight in his left hand while trying to nurse his right, which had been cut badly on the Jubjub Bird's beak.

Mallymkun inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to calm down and get air back into her lungs. All she could think about was her sudden brush with death—she had been certain, watching that razor-sharp beak charging at her, that she was doomed. But now…she was still alive.

Tarrant had _saved _her.

In the dormouse's head, relief shifted into astonishment, which in turn began to slowly morph into humiliation…and that, into fury.

"Are you all right, Mallymkun?" she heard Tarrant ask.

"Put. Me. Down," she gasped in response. Tarrant quickly complied, sitting on a hollow log and setting her down beside him. There they stayed for several moments, her trying to regain her breath and growing even angrier, and him wrapping his hand with a strip of cloth from one of his pockets.

"What," Mallymkun said when her lungs no longer had to struggle. "In the name of all that is good, did you do _that _for?"

Tarrant glanced up at her tone of voice—it was practically oozing venom.

"Do what for?" he asked, checking his hand to make sure that blood wasn't seeping through the makeshift bandage.

"You know very well what!" the dormouse shouted. "Why'd you have to go and rescue me?"

The Hatter seemed slightly confused. "Aren't you glad to be alive?"

"Better dead than carried to safety like a helpless pup!"

"I just wanted to help—"

"'Just wanted to help'?" Mallymkun felt like stabbing something—the log, the Hatter, herself, anything. She wished that she hadn't lost her hatpin. "'Just wanted to help'? Well, I don't want your help! I don't _need _your help! I've never needed anyone and I never will! Can you get that through your thick skull, or do I need to drive it in by force?"

Riled up, she began to pace back and forth on the log. "People always think so little of me! That's the story of my life. They look at me and see a little, female mouse and think that I'll never amount to anything. I don't need your help in proving them that they're right! If I need to be saved, how will anyone see me as I want them to see me, and not as what they see now? I'm more capable of survival than anyone I've ever met, especially you!" Mallymkun glared up at the Hatter. "You're weak, you're sappy, and you're a complete and utter _fool!_ Why on earth do I stick around with the likes of you? You, and that spineless McTwisp, and that overprotective Bayard! We should all just go our separate ways!"

She ended her rant, breathing hard, her sides sore from using so much air right after having so little in her. Tarrant just stared at her, and so she gazed back defiantly. They stayed like that for a long time.

Finally, the Hatter's face darkened.

"Fine, then," he spat in a heavily accented voice. He stood up and walked away, leaving the dormouse alone on the log.

Mallymkun stared after him. She hadn't expected_ that_ response. It would have been better if he'd yelled back at her, if his eyes had turned gold and he'd tried to hurt her. She could handle conflict. But _this…_

She slid off the log and kicked it in frustration. This, however, only succeeded in hurting her foot.

"What does he know of me?" she snarled, rubbing her foot. "Nothing, that's what! No one knows anything about me, about who I am. And _that's _because they don't listen to me. I'm either helpless or reckless, that's what everyone sees! The Resistance, my parents, even Kedanir…"

"_You know, you're going to get yourself killed someday, Mally."_

"Shut _up, _Ked!" Mallymkun shouted skyward. "You were _wrong_, Kedanir, and you always were! Just look at me! I'm the one who didn't die! Isn't it obvious that I'm strong enough to handle the world? Why do I have to keep repeating myself? I don't need _anyone. _Not parents, not brothers, not friends, and _especially _not stupid, inexperienced, overbearing _HATTERS!_"

"Are you finished raging yet, Mally?" Chessur asked from where he sat up on the log.

"Don't call me 'Mally!'" she responded automatically. This was the last thing she needed!

"Who called you 'Mally' that makes it bother you so much?" the cat asked. "Was it that 'Kedanir' fellow you mentioned a moment ago?"

"Shut up," Mallymkun said. "For once in your life, just shut up!"

"You do realize how utterly _slurvish _you're being," Chessur reprimanded. "You were a real _guddler's scut _to Tarrant."

Mallymkun didn't know what a "_guddler's scut_"was, but she had heard somewhere that "_slurvish_"was an Outlandish word for "selfish," "self-centered," or just plain "rude."

"_I'm _the one who's being _slurvish_?" she sputtered.

"He _did _save your life," the cat pointed out. "And you yelled at him instead of thanking him."

"What about _you, _Chessur?" Mallymkun challenged. "You're practically the definition of '_slurvish_'."

"Excuse me?" Chessur replied in indignation.

"When the going gets tough, you disappear," said the dormouse. "If it doesn't directly affect you, you do nothing. I'd call _that _self-centered. It wouldn't have taken much—a word with the White Queen or with one of her guards— and you could have saved so many lives on Horunvendush Day! I don't know how you knew that the Jabberwocky was coming, nor do I especially care right now. But you of all people have no right to call anyone _slurvish_!"

The cat scowled. "Whatever happened to 'we should all just go our separate ways'?" he challenged. "Would that involve saving anyone's life? Someone's death would be their 'way', would it not? As for the people of Witzend, you keep denying that you miss them. So why get so angry about it?"

Mallymkun opened her mouth, but no words came out. She didn't have an answer, because she herself didn't know why.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my separate way," Chessur said, evaporating.

"Fine, then," Mallymkun said to the now-empty area. "Good-bye Witzend, so long Woods, and farewell Resistance. I don't need _any_ of you."

She turned and marched off, not stopping until she had left the trees far behind her and the dry rocks of Crims were under her feet.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.: **I just realized that, although McTwisp left to find Absolem in Chapter 2, in Chapter 5 he's suddenly back in Bayard's neighborhood…I guess he was having trouble finding Absolem and came back for help.

* * *

Crims was not known for its pleasant appearance. Everything around the dormouse was either brown or gray. She wandered over to a pile of boulders and climbed up to the top. She had a good view of the land, not that there was much to see. Mallymkun rotated slowly, looking for any signs of life. While she knew that if she continued north she would find the Crimson Sea and various port cities such as Salazen Grum, there was nothing to be seen here…until she turned all the way around and found herself facing the Tulgey Woods on the horizon.

She tore her gaze from the trees determinedly. _I'm not going back, _she told herself.

It was a decision that she was glad to have made, or so she had repeated to herself over and over as she'd walked out here.

_Then why do I feel so…so dispirited?_ Mallymkun thought, sitting down on the rock.

"I'm glad to be gone," she said out loud. "If I'm alone, then no one can judge me. If I'm alone, then I don't have to prove myself to anyone."

_But I never thought that being alone would be so…lonely._

On any other day, Mallymkun would have found it silly to be talking out loud to herself. But today, she felt like she needed it.

"It's not like I have anyone to miss," she continued. "I haven't lost anyone or anything. My mother was always disappointed with me. My father thought I'd never amount to anything. The rest of my family considered me weird and shunned me. I never had anything to do with the other Witzend citizens. Bayard and Bielle think I'm a helpless pup. McTwisp and Uilleam think I'm young and pity me. The flowers think I'm impolite, but they have no right to say anything about that. The Tweedles are just troublesome. Chessur's a selfish jerk. And Hatter…I told him what I thought of him, and every word was true."

Mallymkun nodded, her face set and determined. "Yes, that just about covers it. Why would I miss any of them?"

But even as the words were coming out of her mouth, another voice inside her was whispering contradictions.

_Your mother may have found you frustrating, but she still tried her best to care and wait for you. Your father wanted to make you great in the one way he knew worked. You gave your family little reason to like you, running off and having your own adventures without them. And even through that, Kedanir talked to you and listened to your stories and ideas. You did not know the other Witzend citizens personally, but they were an enormous part of your upbringing in what you learned from watching and listening to them. Bayard and Bielle offered you safety and a place to stay out of kindness, and McTwisp and Uilleam pity you out of kindness as well. You enjoyed arguing with the flowers, and you never got to know the Tweedles, so you have nothing to say about their worth. Chessur saved your life, and while he could have just let you be miserable this morning, he made sure that someone came for you. As for Hatter, he's the only one who knows your pain._

"I have no pain," Mallymkun argued with herself, but even as she said it, she thought of how she'd hidden under a mushroom just that morning, near tears.

_Hatter saved your life, and he had no reason to. He didn't need a reason. Everyone else there was thinking only of themselves, but he came back for you because he is a good and caring man._

"In saving me, he showed that he saw a little mouse who couldn't take care of herself."

_And, at that moment, you couldn't._

Mallymkun placed her head in her hands. She hated it when she proved herself wrong. It was bad enough when other people did it.

* * *

"_The Jubjub Bird has returned, your majesty, but my sources tell me that there are still many people in the Tulgey Woods who plot against you."_

"_Perhaps we need a more effective warning, Stayne. Prepare the Jabberwocky for a short outing, and have my knights at the ready."_

"_Consider it already done, your majesty."_

* * *

Mallymkun didn't know how long she had been sitting on that boulder, arguing with herself and making no progress. The midday sun was very hot and she was growing thirsty. Just as she'd decided to head back towards the Woods, just far enough to find a stream, she felt the ground tremble slightly at first, but then significantly. Holding on tight to the rock, Mallymkun glanced around wildly for the source of the commotion. She didn't have to look far—a huge, dark, and terrifyingly familiar creature was heading in her direction from the horizon.

The dormouse flattened herself against the rock, her heart beating wildly as she realized that she was getting her first good look at the Jabberwocky!

While it was relatively skinny and lithe, it was the largest thing she had ever seen. It could have easily grabbed a full-grown man in its claws. It had four legs and two bat-like wings, which each had a set of claws as well. Every so often it swept its long, whip-like tail along the ground. Its head was turning in every direction atop a snake-like neck. The head itself was all the more terrifying, with its curved fangs, slithering tongue, and fire-red eyes.

Mallymkun shuddered and slid a little ways down the side of the boulder, disgust at her own cowardice outweighed by fervent hoping that the Jabberwocky would not notice her.

Luckily, the creature moved on, not seeming to realize that she was there. It continued to march purposefully towards the Tulgey Woods. Once it had passed, Mallymkun got back up on the boulder and watched it. _What's it doing…?_

Suddenly, something clicked in the dormouse's mind, and several events fell into place.

_The Jabberwocky belongs to the Red Queen. Those people thought that it was a rumor. They also said that the Jubjub Bird and the Bandersnatch working for her were rumors. All of a sudden, the Jubjub Bird shows up and attacks a Resistance meeting. If the Red Queen has the Jubjub Bird, and the Jubjub Bird attacked the Resistance, then the Red Queen must know that the Resistance is based in the Tulgey Woods. So, now she's sending in the Jabberwocky!_

Mallymkun had already jumped down from the rock and taken a few steps southward before she realized what she was doing and stopped herself.

_What good could I do? _she thought. _I'm not even armed anymore. Besides, what business is it of mine if they die? Like Chessur said, their death is their way. And I'm the one who said that we should go our separate ways…_

But she couldn't just stand there not knowing what became of them, and so she ran after the Jabberwocky, keeping a safe distance behind and off to the side.

* * *

When they reached the Woods, the Jabberwocky reared up on its hind legs and let out a blood-curdling roar. Then it opened its mouth and very calmly set the forest on fire. Mallymkun watched in horror as the flames began to spread from tree to tree. The Jabberwocky, seemingly satisfied with its work, roared again, nodded to itself, and then turned to head back the way it came.

Mallymkun hesitated. The forest fire was rapidly spreading, and the air was growing thick with smoke. _There won't be any escape, _the dormouse thought. _If they aren't dead already, then they won't be able to find the way out…_

Her newest acquaintances' faces were visible in her mind. _Bayard, Bielle, McTwisp, Uilleam, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Hatter…and all of the other humans and animals in there, all doomed…_

Then, Mallymkun clenched her fists and stared defiantly at the flames. _I survived you once, and I'll do it again! I might not be able to save them, but I have to try!_

With that, she ran into the Woods.

Once in the trees, it was complete pandemonium. The heat was incredible, and every now and then a tree branch would fall in flames—just like in Witzend. Once in a while, she thought she heard someone yelling nearby, but it was too hard to tell for sure. Anything above her head was obscured by smoke, and all sounds were drowned out by the crackling of the flames. Mallymkun just kept running to the one place she could think of—Bayard's neighborhood.

Her gamble paid off. The surviving Resistance members had gathered in the clearing, panicked. Mallymkun wondered why they hadn't run out of the forest. Then she realized that anyone much taller than her would have their eyesight and breathing blocked by the smoke.

"Everyone! Down here!" she struggled to raise her voice above the hubbub.

McTwisp recognized her first. "Mallymkun?"

"I can get you out!" the dormouse called. "Just follow my voice!"

She turned and bumped right into Thackery, who seemed to have collapsed from smoke inhalation.

"Someone grab Thackery!" she shouted. A pair of hands came down and picked up the hare. It was Tarrant.

"Mally—!" His exclamation was cut off by violent coughing.

"Just follow me!" Mallymkun shouted again. "This way! It's not far!"

And so she led the group through the Woods, changing direction when her path was blocked by fire or tree branches and shouting to the people behind her frequently so that they would know where she was.

After what seemed like an eternity of heat, noise, and darkness, they left the trees behind them. In front of them was a small lake, which everyone took to graciously, wading across to ensure that the flames would not reach them, taking cool drinks, and treating burns.

Mallymkun sat down by the lake and sighed in relief. While it hadn't shown, she had been absolutely terrified. It had taken all of her resolve to not run off and save herself, and to take the time to find paths that her larger followers could pass through.

"Why did you come back?"

Tarrant had sat down next to her after setting down Thackery, who seemed to have recovered and was dabbling in the shallow water and muttering to himself.

Mallymkun shrugged, dipping her feet in the lake. _Why _did_ I come back? _she thought.

"I guess I just…If I hadn't tried at least tried to save you all, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself," she finally said.

Tarrant raised an eyebrow. "So what you're saying is, in order to feel good about yourself, you _needed _us around?"

"No!" Mallymkun said, a little too forcefully. "It was _you _who needed _me, _Hatter."

The Hatter laughed. "Well, whatever your motive was, I'm very grateful."

Thackery straightened suddenly, his ears straight up and alert.

"Red Knights!" he gasped.

Tarrant and Mallymkun looked up sharply. Indeed, coming towards them from the horizon was a large troop of cardsmen, lead by a tall man on a dark horse.

"Scatter!" Tarrant shouted. The cardsmen charged, and the Resistance fled in every direction. The Hatter grabbed Thackery, and reached to pick up Mallymkun but faltered. The dormouse glanced around. Fire behind her, a lake in front, and nowhere to hide. She was frozen in indecision. Tarrant knew that she would hate him helping her, but he didn't want to abandon the dormouse to the cardsmen.

Their hesitation cost them—the Red Knights quickly surrounded them, aiming their spears inward. The man on the horse sneered down at them. He had long, black hair and a black, heart-shaped eye-patch and a scar over his left eye.

Tarrant reached down very slowly. Mallymkun reluctantly stepped onto his hand, thinking that she had no better option.

"Take them to the Red Queen," said the man on the horse.


	8. Chapter 8

Mallymkun watched the cardsmen carefully from her position on the brim of Tarrant's hat. He'd put her up there shortly after they'd begun their march through Crims, and set Thackery back on the ground. The dormouse especially kept an eye on the man on the horse. There was something very unnerving about him. It may have been the eye-patch, but more likely it was the fact that the man's arms and legs were disproportionately long. If he were to get off his horse, he would probably stand at least a head taller than the Hatter.

The man's horse was even more intimidating, with its night-black skin and black-and-red, spiked armor. The horse noticed Mallymkun's staring, and it snorted menacingly at her.

"What're _you_ looking at?" it sneered.

"What're _you _looking at?" she shot back.

"Be silent, dormouse," the man on the horse ordered. "You are a prisoner of the Red Queen and shall act as such."

_No one tells _me _how to act! _Mallymkun thought, and she opened her mouth to say so. Hatter shook his head, causing her to have to regain her balance. Mallymkun interpreted it as a warning, one that she decided to pay attention to. The cardsmen's spears and the sword at the man's hip looked lethal. She could probably get away quickly enough, but she wouldn't put it past the man to take out his anger on Tarrant and Thackery. _I didn't save their lives to get them punished on my account, _she sighed to herself.

Eventually, it became clear why she hadn't seen the Red Queen's castle on the horizon in the barren Crims. The ground sloped downward between two rocky shelves, the road heading downhill towards the sea, to where the castle lay on the shore. It was huge, with more towers and turrets than the dormouse could count. As they crossed a bridge over the moat and passed the thick, stone walls, Mallymkun got the feeling that once in, there may be no coming back out. Again, she could probably escape on her own, but she didn't want to abandon the others.

Strong, iron gates were closed behind them. Now, they were in a sort of courtyard, with a large shed in the middle of it. The door was open, and as they passed Mallymkun glanced inside and saw a monstrous, doglike face growling back at her. The dormouse shuddered slightly, remembering the woman back at the Resistance meeting mentioning the Bandersnatch…

Then, the three of them were taken into the Red Queen's castle.

* * *

_Who needs this much space?_ Mallymkun thought as they turned into yet another hallway that split into two directions. Everything was almost identical, too—red walls, red carpeting, the occasional gold-painted table or door… It was a wonder that the man seemed to know where he was going in this maze. The dormouse was already lost.

Eventually, the cardsmen herded them through colossal double doors and into the Red Queen's throne room. Mallymkun ignored the big room around them and the frog footmen lining the aisle, her focus on the woman sitting in a throne at the other end of the room. She wore a flamboyant red dress and a crown, and her feet were resting on the belly of a pig that was lying prostrate in front of her. The woman also had a massive head.

Iracebeth of Crims, the Red Queen.

The cardsmen forced Tarrant to his knees at the base of the stairs leading up to the throne. Mallymkun lost her balance as they shoved him and had to scramble down off the hat and to the floor. Thackery was already cowering in terror.

"And what," said the Red Queen, her voice full of contempt. "Is this?"

"Majesty." The man bowed deeply. "These three were caught fleeing the Tulgey Woods."

Iracebeth kicked the pig, which scampered off fearfully as she stood up.

"So," she said. "You're trying to set up an army against me, are you? How many of your little friends are out there?"

No one answered. Mallymkun wished that she had her hatpin, or any kind of weapon. The Red Queen's head was a very tempting target.

"I am not a patient monarch," said the queen menacingly. "If you do not tell me, I will have you executed. Now, who is plotting against me?"

Again, they remained silent. Then, Thackery suddenly sat bolt upright.

"Now you've done it!" he exclaimed. "Here I am, with nothing to set a table with! Not only are _you all _late, you've made _me _late, too!"

"…What?" said Iracebeth. The hare leapt to his feet.

"What to do, what to do?" he muttered. "I know! We'll use your helmet for the teapot," he pointed at one of the cardsmen. "And you can be the table!" he declared of another Red Knight.

"Enough of this foolishness," the Red Queen snapped.

"Oh, but you're invited!" Tarrant suddenly chimed in. "Won't you join us? We could have such _lovely _conversation. Do you have any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

The queen, the soldiers, and Mallymkun gaped as the Hatter got to his feet and grabbed one of the cardsmen's arms.

"Well, _do_ you?" Tarrant asked. "And while we're at it, I've been considering things that begin with the letter 'M,' but I can't come up with anything for the life of me!"

"It will be for the life of you if you don't shut up!" the queen finally recovered her voice.

"There's no need to shout, we're already late!" said Thackery.

_They've both gone mad, _Mallymkun thought, watching them continue their babbling.

"More chairs! More chairs! There's not enough room!" The hare was running around in frantic circles.

"We're killing time here, you know, and that's _very _naughty of us all!" Tarrant turned to face the Red Queen, his eyes locking with Mallymkun's for just an instant. That instant was just long enough for her to get the message he was trying to send to her, and for her to understand what was going on.

_It's an act! _Mallymkun realized. And, judging by the facial expressions of the others in the room, it was working. The dormouse then did the first crazy thing that came to mind:

She burst into high-pitched giggles.

"Stop that laughing!" Iracebeth ordered. Mallymkun ignored her, laughing even harder.

"It's true!" Hatter insisted. "If you kill Time, he could get very angry at you!"

"Come now, where're the scones?" Thackery asked, checking under the carpet just in case they were there. By this point, the queen and her soldiers seemed at a complete loss as to what to do.

"I'm thinking of a song," said Tarrant.

"Ooh, teach me it!" Mallymkun squealed gleefully.

Tarrant smiled and began to sing.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder where you're at? Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky…"

Mallymkun tried to join in, but she ended up just saying "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle" over and over again until both she and the Hatter had disintegrated back into laughter.

"Stayne, stop this nonsense!" the queen said.

The man cracked his knuckles. "If you don't stop this nonsense immediately, you'll all lose your heads!" he threatened.

"Already lost them!" Mallymkun squeaked between giggles. Stayne frowned and grabbed her, throwing the dormouse against the wall.

Mallymkun gasped as she hit the hard surface and fell back to the floor. It took all of her determination to start laughing again, although she was starting to run out of breath and her ribs were now hurting from the impact.

"Oh, I don't have time for this!" Iracebeth shouted. "Take them away! Get them out of my castle!"

Stayne waved a hand at the cardsmen, who dragged the mad trio back out of the throne room. They dumped them on the other side of the bridge and headed back into the castle, closing the gates behind them.

Tarrant, Thackery, and Mallymkun sat up slowly, glanced back at the castle, looked at each other, and started laughing again.

"That was _genius, _Hatter!" said Mallymkun.

"I'm just surprised that it actually worked," Tarrant replied. "While she's big-headed, she's certainly not very bright."

He picked the dormouse up and looked her over.

"Anything bruised or broken?" he asked. Mallymkun shook her head. Her collision with the wall hadn't harmed her. Tarrant put her back on his hat.

"A performance of that expertise merits traveling by hat," he said.

Mallymkun smiled to herself, secretly glad at not having to walk. Laughing had turned out to be an exhausting procedure. That was undeniably the oddest event she'd ever participated in. Strangely, though, she couldn't remember a time that she'd had more fun than she'd just had giggling along with the hare and hatter.

"Where are we going now?" she asked as Tarrant began to walk.

"_Now _can we go have tea?" Thackery added.

"Well, seeing as we're now officially lunatics, I think we should join Thackery for tea," said the Hatter. The hare looked elated.

* * *

It turned out that most of the Tulgey Woods had been too damp to burn completely, so many locations, including Thackery's house and tea table, were still intact. Gradually, people began to return to the Woods. No one else had been captured after the fire, but the Red Knights had begun to vigorously patrol Underland. Since many Resistance members had fled with their families to the Outlands, their base moved there. Mallymkun and Tarrant stayed at Thackery's, keeping up their insanity ruse, and so they only learned what happened at Resistance meetings through messages sent by Bayard or Chessur. At the moment, there wasn't much to be done. While most of the Underlanders that the Resistance made contact with were interested in remaining loyal to the White Queen, everyone now knew about the Jabberwocky, the Jubjub Bird, and the Bandersnatch. Fear was a very good convincer to lie low.

And so, for Mallymkun, every day was a mad tea party. Curiously, she felt that she had never been happier.

* * *

**A.N.: **Ugh, this chapter was really hard to write for some reason! And the next part will be just as hard… If you've figured out what event is coming next, then you can probably guess why!


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N.: **As an apology for taking so long to write, here is an extra-long chapter for you! Please review? Please?

* * *

"I've been considering things that begin with the letter 'M,'" Hatter casually mentioned as he poured himself another cup of tea.

Mallymkun giggled. "I do, Hatter," she said, jumping from the arm of a chair to the table.

"'I' doesn't begin with 'M,' silly!" Hatter corrected playfully.

"Of course it doesn't," the dormouse agreed.

"Ah, but you said it did," the man pointed out. "And it can't begin with 'M,' because then it wouldn't begin with 'I,' and if it didn't begin with 'I' then we could hardly say 'I' because it's the only letter in the word and so we'd have to say 'M' but then it wouldn't be 'I' anymore, so it—!"

"Hatt-_er_," Mallymkun cut him off. "That's not what I meant!"

"But it's what you said. You really ought to say what you mean."

"Saucer!" Thackery chimed in.

"'Saucer' doesn't begin with 'M' either!"

"But 'Mallymkun' does!" said the dormouse.

"Why, so it does!" said the Hatter. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"I _did_," Mallymkun insisted, grinning.

"Now, Thackery," said Tarrant, turning to the hare. "It's your turn. What else begins with 'M'?"

Thackery thought, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

"Gae!" he shouted, tossing his teacup across the table. It hit Mallymkun, nearly knocking her off the table.

Tarrant and Thackery burst out laughing. Mallymkun got back to her feet, and although an expression of annoyance flickered across her face, it quickly vanished as she joined in the laughter, the transgression already forgotten.

Eventually, the laughter faded, and the topic changed.

"Th' bloodhound ought'ter be arrivin' soon," said the hare in a rare moment of lucidity. "Spoon," he added as an afterthought.

"Is that today?" Hatter asked. "I can never remember."

"It could be today," said Mallymkun. "How 'bout I go look for him?"

"A fine idea," the Hatter replied. "But don't be too late, all right?"

"Yeh _better _not be late!" Thackery added.

Mallymkun laughed, scampering down one of the table legs and waving behind her as she disappeared into the trees.

She wandered around for a while, not heading in any particular direction. After all, she could easily find her way back, and she had her hatpin at her waist as always. But she wasn't expecting any trouble. It was just too good of a day for something bad to happen!

"Mallymkun?"

The dormouse turned around. "Bayard!" she squealed happily at the sight of the bloodhound.

"You're looking well," Bayard said. "Where did you get the jacket?"

"What, this?" Mallymkun pointed at the long, red jacket she was wearing over her usual outfit. "Hatter made it for me! He gave me a new hatpin, too, since I lost the old one."

Bayard nodded. "You're in a good mood."

Mallymkun laughed. The bloodhound gave her a strange look.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Should I not be?"

"No, it's just that…well, I've never heard you laugh before," said Bayard.

"Really?" Mallymkun cocked her head slightly. "Huh. I guess I just never felt like it."

"I have good news," Bayard said. "We found Absolem, and he said—"

The dormouse started giggling again.

"What's so funny?" Bayard asked. There was no response, just more laughter. "Mallymkun!" he shouted.

"What?" She stopped laughing abruptly, surprised at his outburst.

"Something's different," Bayard said. "_You're _different. You're not at all like the spunky girl I met in Witzend, nor the stubborn warrior I found later. You're…you're _mad,_ is what you are."

"No, I'm not," Mallymkun protested. "We just pretend to be mad, you know that. It's an act."

"Then why are you 'acting' now?"

Mallymkun frowned slightly. "I'm not…" she muttered. "…am I?" she added uncertainly.

"…Maybe you should take some time off," Bayard cautiously suggested. "It's not that I don't think you're capable—far from it. But the stress of being constantly in the middle of the action…I had to dodge at least four Red Knight patrols on my way here. The Woods just aren't safe anymore, and, truthfully, you're not much more than a pup. You could stay with us. Bielle and I would be glad to have you."

The bloodhound expected the dormouse to glare at him and make a scathing remark about his apparent lack of faith in her abilities, but instead she just looked up at him calmly.

"But I'm happy here," she said. "I haven't been this happy since…for a long time. Thackery's funny, and I like Tarrant. And the Red Knights don't bother us much. They just march around and try to look scary, but they usually end up looking silly. The Red Queen hasn't done anything to us, either."

Bayard shrugged, mystified by her complete reversal in attitude and in, it seemed, personality.

"Well, if you're sure," he said. "All right then, the good news. McTwisp found Absolem. They consulted the Oraculum, which has predicted that several years from now we will have a Champion who will slay the Jabberwocky."

"Several years?" Mallymkun said. "Why not now?"

"Apparently, McTwisp has to go to Overland and bring her here for a short while, so that she will remember us when she returns home and then come back when the time is right."

"Overland." The word sounded vaguely familiar. Mallymkun thought for a moment, and then she remembered the staircase and door that lead nowhere. Chessur had said that it was "one of the ways to Overland."

"What _is _Overland, Bayard?" she asked.

"Have you ever wondered why we call our home Underland?" Bayard replied. "Overland is the other world, somewhere above us."

"There are people who live in the sky?" Mallymkun glanced upward. It was hard to believe.

"Not in the sky," said the bloodhound. "At least, I don't think so. I've never been there. Supposedly, it's a lot like Underland, but different. Some say that it's completely populated by humans, and that the only animals up there are uncivilized, speechless beasts."

"And we want a Champion from there why?" Mallymkun asked. "That is, of course, if such a place really exists."

"Oh, it exists, all right," Bayard said, reassured by her skepticism—it was more like her.

"So, when does she—"

The dormouse was cut off by loud, quick footsteps, and suddenly they were surrounded by cardsmen.

"Arrest that hound for suspicious behavior!" ordered an Ace, pointing at Bayard.

Mallymkun scampered, easily ducking between their legs. As a few of the cardsmen were distracted by her flight, Bayard took a chance and rushed them, breaking out of the circle and dashing away into the trees. The cardsmen were quickly in pursuit of the bloodhound.

The dormouse ran for a long time, only stopping when she ran out of breath. She stood there, breathing hard and worried about Bayard. Had he escaped? Or was he already on his way to Salazen Grum?

_He called me mad, _she thought. _He said I was different. I'm not different, I'm still me!_

Then again…

She'd just run away from the Red Knights. Why had she run? Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember when her last fight was. Her hatpin had stayed, unused, at her side since…since the Jubjub Bird attack? What had she _done_ all this time?

Had tea, that's what. And laughed, she'd done quite a lot of laughing lately.

Now that she looked back on her recent behavior, it seemed like she was looking at someone else, someone silly and ridiculous.

But…

All she wanted right now was to return to the tea table, to laugh with Thackery and answer Tarrant's ever-repeating nonsense questions. She was happy there. She felt happy with them, and she also felt something else when she thought of the Hatter and Hare.

She felt _secure._

Their lives weren't under any threat. She was never lonely or deprived of her needs. No one expected her to do anything or be anyone. No one told her what to do.

Was that madness? And if so, was that a bad thing?

Mallymkun didn't know. Made uncomfortable by her thoughts, she decided to head back to the tea table. She could only hope that events would be easier to handle there, even if they still didn't make sense.

* * *

It took much longer than usual for the dormouse to return to her friends. It seemed that every few moments, she had to change course or hide to avoid Red Knights.

_There weren't this many patrols before, _Mallymkun thought as she crouched behind a tree root, waiting for the cardsmen to pass by. _And they weren't so intimidating, either…or maybe they were, and I was too mad to notice?_

That idea only served to make her feel even more troubled.

She was out the rest of the day and all night, moving cautiously and continuously preoccupied with the question of her sanity and her priorities.

_Not all that long ago, I would have hated the way I've been living, _was a recurring argument in her mind. _Now I just want to stop thinking and get back to it. What do I desire, truly?_

The sun had long since risen by the time she reached the tea table. Miserable and exhausted, she was without even the energy or motivation to climb up onto her chair. She just curled up next to one of its legs, eyes shut tight, incredibly relieved to be back.

Then a hand picked her up and set her on the table, and she heard the Hatter talking from somewhere far away.

"You're terribly late, you know, naughty…By the way, Chessur came by to tell us that we might have a new guest later, a girl by the name of Alice…"

Mallymkun didn't hear anything else, as she had fallen asleep.

* * *

She didn't wake up all at once. First, she heard the voices.

"You should learn not to make personal remarks," a girl was saying. "It's very rude."

_Now, who could that be? _Mallymkun thought. For a moment she wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" came a reply.

_That's Tarrant, _thought the dormouse.

"I believe I can guess that," said the girl.

_Oh yes, he said we'd have a guest._

"Do yeh be meanin' that yeh think yeh can find oot the answer toowit?" Thackery said.

_What was her name? Alice, wasn't it?_

"Exactly so," said Alice.

"Then yeh should say whut yeh mean," the hare went on.

_Very true._

"I do," Alice hastily replied. "At least—At least I mean what I say—that's the same thing, you know."

"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "Why you might just as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'!"

_That's also very true._

"Yeh might as well say," Thackery added. "That 'I like whut I git' is the same theng as 'I git whut I like'!"

"You might just as well say," Mallymkun added, still not quite awake but able to form sentences. "That 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe'!"

"It _is _the same thing with you," Tarrant said.

There was a long pause, in which Mallymkun drowsily thought of nothing in particular until she was almost fast asleep again—and then Thackery dripped hot tea on her.

"Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself," the dormouse muttered, just in case she'd missed something important.

While she still didn't feel like getting up yet, she tried to listen a bit more carefully to avoid getting dripped on again. Alice and the Hatter were arguing now, about everything from riddles without answers to how time felt about being wasted. Then Tarrant started to sing his song about the bat, and Mallymkun may or may not have joined in. She was too much asleep to tell the difference.

And then, all of a sudden, they were poking her.

"Wake up, dormouse!"

"I wasn't asleep," Mallymkun protested, opening her eyes. "I heard every word you fellows were saying."

"Tell us a story!" said Thackery.

"Yes, please do!" pleaded Alice.

"And be quick about it, or you'll be asleep again before it's done," Tarrant teased.

Mallymkun sat up. _Why do they want me to tell them a story? ...Why not?_

"Once upon a time there were three little sisters," she said, using the first things that popped into her head. "And their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well—"

"What did they live on?" Alice interrupted.

Mallymkun hadn't thought of that. Then again, she had been put on the spot.

"They lived on…treacle," she said after thinking for a few moments.

"They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice remarked. "They'd have been ill."

"So they were," said the dormouse. "_Very _ill."

_Or they would have been, if this was a true story, _she thought. _Or maybe that wouldn't have been. Oh well, it doesn't really matter._

"But why did they live at the bottom of a well?"

_I don't know. Will that girl ever stop asking questions and interrupting?_

"Take sum'more tea," said the hare.

"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied. "So I can't take more."

"You mean, you can't take _less,_" the Hatter corrected. "It's very easy to take _more _than nothing."

_Very true._

"Nobody asked _your _opinion," said Alice, quite rudely in Mallymkun's opinion.

"Who's making personal remarks now?"

"Why did they live at the bottom of a well?" Alice said again, ignoring the Hatter.

"It was a treacle well," the dormouse replied, for lack of a better answer.

"There's no such thing!"

"If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself," Mallymkun said sulkily.

"No, please go on!" All of a sudden, Alice seemed humble. "I won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be _one._"

"One, indeed!" said the dormouse indignantly. But there was a part of her that liked this girl's attitude. She wanted to know things, and she didn't care about others' opinions. She was rude, but definitely muchy.

"And so these three little sisters—they were learning to draw, you know—"

"What did they draw?" Alice had apparently forgotten her promise.

"Treacle." Mallymkun didn't even think about it this time.

"But I don't understand," Alice said. "Where did they draw the treacle from?"

"You can draw water out of a water well," said Tarrant. "So I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle well—eh, stupid?"

"But they were _in _the well, Alice said.

"Of course they were," said the dormouse. "Well in."

She yawned widely, rubbed her eyes, and continued.

"They were learning to draw, and they drew all manner of things—everything that begins with an 'M'." She grinned up at Tarrant.

"Why with an M?" said Alice.

"Why not?" said Thackery.

"That begins with an 'M'," Mallymkun said again. "Such as mouse traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness—" (Tarrant nodded approval at this list.) "—you know you say things are 'much of a muchness'—did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?"

"Really, now you ask me," said Alice. "I don't think—"

"Then you shouldn't talk," the Hatter pointed out.

_Very true._

Alice then got up and left in a huff, soon disappearing into the trees.

"Now, that was most certainly an interesting encounter," Tarrant said.

Thackery shrugged. "Cup," he muttered.

Mallymkun sighed. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Well, I wouldn't know that," said the Hatter. "Only you know how tired you are, and thus whether or not you can go to sleep."

The dormouse yawned and closed her eyes again, lying back down on the table. Tarrant picked her up again and placed her gently in an empty teapot, shutting the lid behind her.

* * *

When Mallymkun woke up again and reemerged from the teapot, late in the afternoon, Chessur was just materializing in the chair at the far end of the table. He was grinning wider than ever and laughing his head off.

"Oh, you should have seen it!" he said.

"And what is it that we should have seen?" Tarrant asked, using the tone of voice that he always used when addressing the cat: civil and polite, but only just so. He had never forgiven Chessur on the topic of Horunvendush Day.

"That Alice," said Chessur. "Somehow, she ended up in the Red Queen's courtyard. And she didn't let her majesty boss her around, no sir! The Queen was absolutely livid. And then Alice stands up in the middle of a crowd of Red Knights, shouts that they're nothing but a pack of playing cards, and jumps back into Overland before Iracebeth of Crims could order her executed. You should have seen the look on the Queen's face when she realized that Alice was gone!"

"Did she really?" Mallymkun said in astonishment.

"Now, that takes muchness, standing up to the Red Queen like that," said Tarrant.

Chessur nodded in agreement. "And Absolem says she's going to be the White Queen's Champion when she returns, and slay the Jabberwocky on the Frabjous Day."

"Thus bringing down the Red Queen for good!" said the Hatter triumphantly.

Mallymkun grinned. It was hard to be troubled now, with victory and vengeance so close.

* * *

Then, of course, the trouble started.

The Red Queen took offense at Alice's stunt, and took it to heart. And she vented her anger on the Underlanders.

The reports of casualties started arriving at sunset.

Iplam was torched, and Marmoreal was flattened. The Jubjub Bird and Bandersnatch were set loose in villages. Cardsmen flooded Queast and Snud, destroying buildings and taking hundreds of civilians prisoner. Stayne himself lead an army into the Outlands, hunting down the members of the Resistance.

The executions stretched through the night, every head tossed into the moat. A few people managed to avoid being beheaded by sucking up to the Red Queen, but very few succeeded.

As they heard about the mounting tragedies, Mallymkun watched the Hatter become more and more reclusive as the situation became more and more helpless. Eventually, he just sat at the tea table, gazing blankly into the distance.

But the worst news of all came near midnight. Chessur made an appearance to tell Mallymkun in a hushed voice that Bayard and Bielle had been taken prisoner.

"I don't think they're going to kill them, not yet at least," said the cat. "Stayne wants Bayard to tell him where the rest of the Resistance is, and so he's holding his wife. McTwisp, Uilleam, and the Tweedles are in hiding. On a happier note, Bielle had her pups. Four little bundles of joy, locked away with their mother in a tower."

"You were close enough to know all this, and you didn't try to save them?" Mallymkun exclaimed.

"It was me against dozens of Red Knights!" Chessur responded indignantly. "What was I supposed to do, grab a pup and flee? Even if we escaped, it wouldn't last a week without its mother."

Mallymkun took a few quick steps, fully intending to head north until she reached Salazen Grum and rescue the bloodhounds. But then she stopped, and looked back at the tea table, where Tarrant and Thackery were still sitting—the hare muttering to himself, and the Hatter staring sadly off into space.

Suddenly, she found that she couldn't leave them, not now.

_Going to Crims now would be suicide, _she told herself. _I'm needed here. And besides, Bayard, Bielle, and the pups are still alive. There will be plenty of time. And then there's Frabjous Day, and Alice…_

_Alice, _she added bitterly. _Just look at what she's done for us so far. The whole world's going to ruin because of her, and she's safe in Overland._

_I don't care if it's foretold; I don't want her to ever come back. Not after what she's caused!_

* * *

**A.N.: **I've decided that animals age at the same rate as humans do in Underland, and that everyone ages half as fast as in Overland. Just in case you were wondering why Bielle's only just had her pups, but they're still young when Alice returns thirteen years later.

The Tea Party scene was written using Lewis Carroll's _Alice in Wonderland _as a reference. Disclaimer, I am not Lewis Carroll, just like I am not Tim Burton, yadda yadda yadda.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N.: **I just realized that Thackery spontaneously gets an accent between chapters 8 and 9. Oops! I could go back and change it, I guess, but I don't really feel like it.

X

Waking up is a slow process now.

First, she feels the cool, smooth surface under her cheek and paws. Then her eyes open, and she sees the white porcelain inside of the teapot. So blank. So simple.

Maybe she shouldn't get up. It would be easier than facing what she knew what was outside. What had been outside for…a long time. Too long.

But, of course, she gets up.

Maybe today would be different.

She pushes the lid of the teapot aside, yawning as she blinks in the morning light. Once again, the sun has not failed to rise.

"Good morning," she says, her voice coming out hoarse and quiet. She clears her throat and tries again, turning to face the others.

"Good morning."

No response, but she wasn't really expecting one. Not anymore.

The hare was playing with something, some object he'd found in the woods. She doesn't look at it too hard. It didn't really matter what the hare did. He could take care of himself.

It's the Hatter she looks at.

He didn't seem to be awake yet, but it was hard to tell these days. Awake or asleep didn't make much of a difference. He just sat there, in his seat at the head of a table that fell further and further into disarray with each passing day. Rarely moving, rarely speaking. And when he_ did_ speak…

She didn't want to think about that now.

His eyes are open. Deep green, and very sad.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks.

He blinks.

"Do…Do you need anything?" She turns to the hare. "Thackery?"

"Spunderbutt," he replies. Whatever that meant.

"I'll just…go for a walk. Maybe I'll find something. Is that all right?"

It sounded like a question, but the words were lines. Lines from a script, repeated again and again, too far back to recall.

And the script dictated that there would be no reply to the line that sounded like a question.

She climbs out of the teapot and down off of the table, heading off at a slow jog towards the trees. When she reaches them, she turns back, dimly hoping that the script would be altered. But there they stay, still sitting there, not commenting or calling her back.

She turns and walks away, and there are tears streaming down her cheeks. She cries so easily these days. But it's all a part of the script to her now. Just the beginning of another agonizingly long day.

X

Walk around. Breathe the air. Touch a rock.

Smell smoke. Investigate. A burnt-out house, its occupants long since fled the scene. Or dead. Look inside the house. Nothing left to salvage. Leave.

Is the sun waiting so long to reach its peak just to make her wait?

Wander more. Listen to the wind. Smell the flowers.

Meaningless details.

Hear footsteps. Hide under a mushroom.

Red Knights.

They're searching, but she doesn't wonder what for. They'll pass soon and be on their way, and she'll be on hers.

For now, she calmly watches as they march past, following a smaller, brown form. A dog.

Memories from a long-ago time stir.

It's him. Ragged and worn, but the same bloodhound.

_Bayard!_

For an instant, she wants to shout the name. She wants to run out from her cover and wrap her arms around his front leg and cry into his fur. But the instant passes. What would she gain from such an act?

His nose twitches, his head turns. They lock eyes.

He mouths a word.

_Mally._

That word…

It meant something, once upon a time.

"What is it?" a cardsman snaps.

The bloodhound shakes his head.

"Nothing," he says.

"Then keep moving!" says the cardsman.

The bloodhound turns away, and the patrol marches off.

She watches them leave.

_Bayard._

_Mally._

She cries.

X

Somehow, the day passes. Somehow, the sun begins its descent.

She hasn't eaten all day, although she knows that she should, she isn't hungry.

She's reminded of the need for food as she passes a squimberry bush. She walks up to the bush and half-heartedly tugs at a berry until the twig holding it in place finally snaps. For a while, she just stares at the squimberry. Then she presses it to her mouth and forces herself to take a bite.

Tears well in her eyes again as the familiar, sweet, tangy juice meets her tongue. It takes all of her remaining willpower to chew and swallow without her stomach rebelling and dumping its few contents onto the grass.

The sticky, pink juice stains the fur on her paws and around her mouth. She slowly finishes the berry and looks for a stream.

Maybe she should take some squimberries back with her. Once, a long time ago, they had enjoyed squimberries. Back when there had been something to enjoy…

She kneels at the water's edge and dips her face into the cold. It feels good. She lifts her head, dripping, watching the droplets distort her reflection in the clear, rippling surface.

The image gradually stills, and she blinks at herself. She barely recognizes the face in the water, so very different from the face she'd once had. The fur was still white, the eyes were still brown, but it was different. Older. Sadder.

She places her paws in the water and lets the light current wash away the berry juice. It leaves a trail of pink in the water, pink that sinks and turns dark.

Dark like blood.

She shakes her head, trying to chase away the thought, to keep the berry inside her stomach.

She falls into the stream with a splash and a squeak.

She pulls herself out, now soaked and shivering. She wraps her arms around her body, feeling the wet cloth of her jacket. The jacket he had made for her, in that time long ago. It was a good jacket. It had kept her warm. Now, after her plunge, it wasn't so warm.

Or had it ceased to warm her before that?

When was the last time that she had felt warm? That she had felt safe, and at peace, and happy?

Where had that time gone?

X

She returns to the tea table as the sun starts to lower itself behind the trees, dragging a leaf behind her. There is a clump of squimberries lying on the leaf.

The hare isn't there, but she isn't worried about him. The Hatter still sits.

She reaches the table and hesitates before speaking.

"I…I brought you something."

He turns his head slightly in her direction. Emboldened by this acknowledgement, she picks up two berries and climbs up to the tabletop.

"Squimberries. You see?" She holds out the berries. "You like squimberries. I like them, too. You know that, right? Let's eat."

Does he even hear her?

"You…you have to eat, Hatter," she says. "You have to eat something. And these are good. Please?"

Coaxing. Pleading. Placing a berry in his hand.

Bargaining. Trying to eat one herself, but she's too choked up to force it down her throat.

She gives up.

"Tarrant…"

She drops the berry and slumps against her teapot, watching the pink sphere roll away.

What's the use?

She can barely even take care of herself, let alone this man.

If only things were different.

If only he would respond.

If only things were as they were before.

If only…

"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gire and gimble in the wabe…All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe…"

It takes a while for the words to register in her mind, and longer to realize who had said them.

The Hatter continues his rhyme, but she is only half listening, not knowing whether to be grateful that he is speaking or upset at what she knows will be said when he is finished.

She can't escape the script.

"…He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back."

"Someday, Hatter," she sighs. "Someday."

"Soon," he corrects. "The bloody Red Queen off the throne, her beast slain, and the white Queen in her rightful place…"

"Someday," is all she can reply, because she knows what's coming next.

"Alice," says the Hatter. "She will make it happen."

She shakes her head slowly. "Tarrant…"

"All will be as it was foretold, on the Frabjous Day."

"She's caused enough trouble already," she softly argues, as she has so many times before. "And if she was coming back, she'd have done so by now. The Red Queen will fall, somehow, someday."

Although it seems less and less likely each day.

"It has to be Alice!" the Hatter insists. "And the _right _Alice. Alice is everything!"

Suddenly, the empty shell fills with an unexpected flood of emotion.

"If she's everything, then where is she?" the angry dormouse explodes, leaping to her feet. "Look at us, all this time, just sitting here, waiting far too long!"

"How long doesn't matter," says the Hatter. "Waiting kills time. Time has stopped, don't you see?"

"Maybe for you it has, but not for me! Not for me…"

She's trembling, her fists clenched, tears streaming down her cheeks again as she stares at the man, the man who is retreating back into his safe, silent shell again.

"Don't you dare go back there!" the dormouse shouts at a blank, stone face. "Do something! Do anything! Insult me! Hit me! Call me 'Mally', even! Laugh at me! _Laugh at me! _And make me laugh, too! Make me smile, like you used to do! Make me happy, Hatter, Tarrant, please…!"

She is still standing, but she has collapsed inside herself, a sobbing wreck. She storms off towards the edge of the table, as though to run off and leave all of it far behind her, but she stops at the edge, clutching herself and crying, unable to go another step.

Where would she go? What could she do?

Somehow, she crawls back into her teapot. Somehow, she falls asleep.

X

Waking up is a slow process now.

First, she feels the cool, smooth surface under her cheek and paws. Then her eyes open, and she sees the white porcelain inside of the teapot. So blank. So simple.

Why get up? What's out there for her?

She closes her eyes and sinks back into the dark bliss of sleep.

X

_There's a dormouse standing in front of her, his arms crossed and his eyes glaring._

"_Is this your answer, Mally?" he demands._

_She doesn't know what to say._

"_Just look at yourself. What are you? You're not my sister. You're not Mally. Is this your answer?"_

"_What choice do I have?" she asks._

"_You always had a choice, even if you weren't given one," he says. "That's the Mally I remember. That's the Mally who survived. Are you going to survive?"_

X

Mallymkun sat bolt upright, nearly hitting her head on the teapot. She can see sunlight through the crack between the lid and the pot.

_How long was I asleep?_

Somehow, she knows it's been days.

_Enough is enough._

She pushed aside the lid and jumped out onto the table, not looking at Thackery or Tarrant as she climbed down off the table and strode off into the trees.

It was time to find Mally again.

X

The cardsmen marched by slowly, scanning the trees around them but missing the dormouse crouched behind the roots of a tree. She reached behind her for the two pebbles she'd brought over from the brook, testing their weight in her paws. Then she drew her arm back and threw one of the pebbles. It hit one of the Red Knights in the helmet—not enough to hurt, but enough to get someone's attention.

"What the—?"

Mallymkun threw the other pebble, hitting a different cardsman.

"There!" one of them shouted, pointing at the dormouse. She turned, vaulted over the tree root, and sprinted away.

They were quickly in pursuit, following her through the Woods. She was always just too far ahead, but never out of sight. Suddenly, she dodged sideways and jumped, knocking a twig lodged between two thick trees loose, and it and the string tied to it snapped upwards—

All of a sudden, an massive amount of dirt, sticks, and rocks tumbled from the trees above the cardsmen, half-burying them in forest rubble.

Mallymkun ran off, hearing them holler in alarm and laughing to herself.

She gradually slowed to a halt, leaning against a tree a safe distance away from the crime scene. The thrill from the chase was starting to die away, but she felt better than she had in a long time…

"_Fairtraival, meecean._"

Mallymkun whirled around, coming face-to-face with—a fox. She whipped out her hatpin.

"_Naught, naught,_" the fox said. "_Mit o fairami!"_

It lay down in front of her, looking at her beseechingly.

"_Mit o… Mit o del Resistra! Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid?"_

The noises it was making sounded vaguely familiar to Mallymkun, like words she couldn't quite make out.

"…Excuse me?" she said.

The fox sighed. "_Ke du spack Outlesde? Naught? _So you talk Otherspeak?"

Mallymkun shook her head in confusion. "Who _are _you?" she asked.

"I am Exel Y'Nix," said the fox. "I am from _Outles. _Outlands. I am from Resistance."

X

**A.N.: **Lots of thanks to jjhatter, _man fairami_, for the help with the Outlandish!

Let me know if you want extra translations, but a lot will be translated in-chapter in the near future.


	11. Chapter 11

"The Resistance?" Mallymkun gasped. "You—you're from the _Resistance? _There's still a Resistance?"

"_Aye, es vrai_," said the fox. "There is. Should not be?"

"No, no…" Mally shook her head. "It's just that… Well, I haven't heard from anyone in the Resistance since… a long time ago. I thought that everyone was dead."

"We thought, as well," Exel said. "Is why I am here. Heard… how you say? …Heard rumor of still alive in Woods. So I come. I see you keep here good…" he hesitated.

"…keep here good what?" Mallymkun asked.

The fox grinned apologetically. "I do not speak Otherspeak good. Born in _Outles. _People come from Woods, come from Queast and Snud to _Outles. _Flee from _Bluddy Behg Hid, _most too scared to fight. Some, with me, we fight. Little we fight. Safe!" he exclaimed, finally remembering the correct word. "You keep here good safe. Red Knights not know what to do."

"They sure don't," the dormouse said, with just a touch of pride. "Who else from the Woods is still in the Resistance? Do you know a Uilleam? Or a Nivens McTwisp?"

Exel nodded. "_Aye. El lapineo y el dodrion. _The rabbit and dodo. They are very much in the Resistance."

That gave Mallymkun an odd sense of relief. She realized that she was still holding her hatpin in an offensive position, and so she lowered it.

Exel visibly relaxed as she let down her guard. "_Vesgras. _Thank you."

"No problem," the dormouse replied. "Well, now that you've found me, are you supposed to report back to your superiors?"

"_Eventualmen,_" said the fox. "Look around. Find how many. Find any else good for _Resistra, _then go back to _Outles_."

"What is it like?" Mallymkun asked suddenly. "What's it like in the Outlands, with the Resistance?" She felt like she absolutely needed to know. She saw the trees now as a prison, something keeping her from the outside world. She needed to see what was outside the cell.

Exel shrugged. "Is _Outles,_" he said. "Is my home. Is not so many trees, is more rocks. Many tunnels below rocks. _Resistra_ base in tunnel, deep below. _Bluddy Behg Hid, _Red Knightsno find."

"What's _Bluddy Behg Hid_?" Mallymkun asked.

"Is Red Queen," Exel explained. "Bloody Bighead. Is in _Resistra _phrase, '_Downal with Bluddy Behg Hid_.' Means 'Down with Bloody Bighead.'"

"I see," said the dormouse. "That's in Outlandish, right? Is that what everyone in the Resistance speaks now?"

"_Naught,_" said Exel. "Most speak _Outlesde, _many do not. Few are… how you say, speak both _Outlesde _and Otherspeak?"

"A translator?" Mallymkun guessed.

"_Aye, et es_," the fox nodded. "Few are translator. Translator speak between, not time to learn other tongue. Just some, little phrase. I want to learn more."

"I could teach you," Mallymkun said. "I'll teach you my language, if you teach me Outlandish."

"_Es vrai? _You would?"

"Sure, I would. It'll be fun!"

_Fun. _The word was unfamiliar in her mouth. What was "fun" nowadays, anyway?

Both animals fell silent at the sound of footsteps crashing through the foliage.

"Tomorrow, then?" Mallymkun whispered. "I'll find you."

"_Aye,_" the fox said with a nod. "Tomorrow. _Fairfarren, meecean._"

"It's Mallymkun," the dormouse corrected. "My name is Mallymkun."

"Mallymkun," said the fox. He grinned at her, and then turned around and silently slipped off into the trees. Mallymkun turned around and dashed away.

She got back to the tea table to find her two companions asleep, but the crumbs from a biscuit were on Tarrant's lips. He had eaten.

_This was a good day, _she thought as she climbed into her teapot. _A good day… Good. Good is finding a friend. Good is showing the cardsmen who's boss. Good is Tarrant eating._

_Fairtraival, meecean._


	12. Chapter 12

Mallymkun woke up very early the next morning, and she jumped out of the teapot and stretched.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully to Tarrant and Thackery.

"Mornin'," muttered the Hare. The Hatter remained silent.

"I'll be back later," said the Dormouse, jumping down off of the table and running off into the woods. She felt better than she had felt in ages. Awake, eager, excited… It was wonderful!

Now, to find Exel…

Mallymkun enjoyed the run through the sun-dappled woods. Everything felt so bright and happy. It was crazy… _No, not crazy, mad! _she giggled to herself. _Mad in a good way!_

She reached the place where she had first seen the fox and looked around for clues as to where he had been. There were none; this Outlander was very adept at leaving no trace of his presence. She would have to rely on memory as to his original direction, and improvise from there.

Mallymkun wandered through the trees, keeping an eye out for Red Knights. You could never be too careful… but the idea of anything bad happening to her seemed so far away now, so she wasn't really worried.

Finally, she found him. Exel was lying under a bush, shrouded from above, but visible to the small dormouse.

"Exel!" she called softly.

The fox turned, and he face lit up.

"_Fairbon, _Mallymkun," he greeted her.

"Good morning, Exel," the dormouse replied. "That's what you said, right?"

"_Aye_." Exel nodded. "Lesson the first: _fairbon, _good morning."

"_Fairbon,_" Mallymkun repeated, committing the new word to memory. "_Fairbon_."

Thus began a daily routine for the Dormouse. It was a new routine, not the monotonous one from before. First, wake up and find Exel. Then, talk, learn, and teach. Sometimes, she could listen to the fox tell of the Outlands, and of the Resistance. Once or twice they had to avoid Red Knights, and the thrill of the chase was always exhilarating. When night fell, she returned to the tea table, finding something for Tarrant and Thackery to eat along the way. The next morning, she would repeat. It was a very pleasant routine. Learning Outlandish kept her occupied, and she practiced even when she wasn't with the fox, using what she had learned when she spoke to the Hare and the Hatter, even though they most likely did not understand her. Best of all, she was pleased with her new routine, even though it ended with her returning to the tea table. But she couldn't bear to leave it for good. Something always stopped her whenever she considered asking Exel to take her with him back to the Outlands.

Things went very well for just over a week, but the bliss had no chance of lasting for long. Life has a way of reasserting the seriousness of its nature.

* * *

"_Donda vivs?_" Exel asked one day. _Where do you live?_

"_Qui?" _The question caught Mallymkun off guard. "What?" she repeated in her own tongue, although she had understood his meaning perfectly well.

"You go somewhere at night," said Exel, his Otherspeak much improved since the day that they had met. "Where do you live? Where do you sleep?"

"Oh, around," said Mallymkun. "In a hole somewhere. It isn't very interesting."

She hadn't told Exel about the tea table, nor had she ever mentioned the two people who stayed there. It just never came up, and she didn't really want him to know, for some reason.

Exel shrugged. "I was just wondering," he said. "It is strange to me to think of living alone out here. Have you always lived alone?"

"No," said Mallymkun. "Just… just since Alice came through here. Everyone either fled or was captured after that, you remember." It was only sort of a lie. Mentally, she had been alone since then.

"_Hepkreg Shukm!_" the fox exclaimed, his shock evident. "That long? _Es vrai?_"

"Yes…" said the Dormouse, now slightly worried. "Exel… How long _has _it been since that day?"

"Nearly _tracedi anyes._" Exel fumbled for the correct Otherspeak words. "Nearly… nearly thirteen years."

"Thirteen years!" Mallymkun squeaked. "You're _serious_?"

"_Aye. _You did not know?"

Mallymkun just shook her head helplessly. _Thirteen years… _Hepkreg shukm_…_

"I've been… I don't know," she said, standing up. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? _Fairnacht, _Exel_._"

She didn't wait for him to return her good-night, but went back to the tea table, her mind busy and full.

_Thirteen years, I've been here! I'm practically an adult. I don't feel like an adult… _Shukm_, I don't feel like anything competent. Shouldn't I know what to do, if I'm an adult? I can't even get myself to leave the Woods… I don't _want _to leave the Woods, not while Tarrant needs me._

Mallymkun climbed up onto the tea table and looked up at the Hatter.

"Did _you _know that it's been thirteen years?" she asked him. "Or are you somewhere so far away that you aren't touched by time? Maybe time's stopped for you, Tarrant, but it hasn't for me… Time went on outside, but I didn't grow up inside…"

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away with a paw.

"I'm stuck, Tarrant," she said to the unresponsive man. "I'm stuck here, somewhere in the middle. That dormouse of adventure and that dormouse of war… I don't know where they are. I don't know if either of them is really Mally. I just… I need someone to tell me what's right, and what I should do now, because I don't know, Tarrant. I thought that I knew, way back when I was little, and life was an adventure. Now, I don't know what it is…"

Something, some soft noise, made her turn around, her hand reaching for her hatpin. Her eyes widened. There was Exel, standing nearby, watching and listening, a frown on his face.

"You… You followed me!" the Dormouse said, her voice barely over a whisper.

The fox nodded. "_Aye. _And this… this is where you live?"

"Yes…"

Exel let out his breath in a huff and turned to walk away.

"What?" Mallymkun called after him, jumping down off of the table. "You have something to say about it?"

"This is not where Mallymkun lives," said the fox. "This is not _ruachem, _like Mally. This is _depriminglen._"

"It's what? I'm what?"

"_Depriminglen!_" The fox whirled around, a strange sort of glare on his face. "Sad. Depressing. You said that you live alone. This is worse than alone. You are stuck here, you say? Why do you stay? You are _ruachem!_ You are… you are spirit. Muchness. The Mallymkun who outwits Red Knights is not _depriminglen_. Why do you stay?"

"How does it concern you whether or not I choose to stay here?" Mallymkun demanded.

"Oh, so is a choice!" said Exel. "Why make the choice? What are this man and this hare to you, when you could be doing so much more? Thirteen years you have been here, wallowing in _depriminglen_? _Du o meecean gallymoggers_!"

"I am _not_ a crazy mouse!" Mallymkun snapped. "I'm _not_! How would _you _know what I am, what Mally is, when even I don't?"

"I thought that I knew," said the fox. "I thought that I knew… I do not understand…"

He turned and walked back off into the trees.

* * *

Mallymkun didn't know if it was the bloodhound's howling that woke her up the next morning, or if it was the fox's yelping. Either way, she was out of the teapot before her eyes were completely open and she ran off into the trees.

_Exel!_

She didn't have to go far. She came upon the fox very near to where she had booby-trapped the Red Knights before. Exel was gingerly standing on a wounded leg, and he was surrounded by cardsmen. Bayard stood behind him.

"Is he a rebel, bloodhound?" one of the cardsmen demanded.

"_Slurking urpal slackush scrum,_" hissed the fox.

Mallymkun fingered the end of her hatpin. Would Bayard betray him? If he did, could she help him?

"Speak, dog!"

"…yes," said Bayard. "I remember him from the Outlands. He's with the Resistance."

_No!_

Exel turned and stared at the bloodhound. "_Frefaire… Quiden?_"

_Brother, why? _Mallymkun translated to herself.

"Do we take him to Salazen Grum?"

"No, let's just kill him here. We'll bring the Queen his head."

_No!_

Mallymkun drew her hatpin and was about to charge into the clearing when Exel yelped again.

"_Meecean! Naught! Stei milesd!_"

Stay back?

Bayard's eyes widened at _meecean_, and for a fraction of a second they stared right at Mallymkun's hiding place.

"What's he saying?" one of the cardsmen demanded.

"_Char neccessin du,_" said the fox. "_Fairfarren, meecean._"

They need you. Goodbye, mouse.

_Exel…_

The fox leapt forward, his jaws closing around one of the cardsmen's legs. The Red Knight shouted and kicked him away. In the fight that followed, Exel fought valiantly. Mallymkun watched nervously as he dodged and bit, keeping just out of their range the whole time despite his injured leg.

And then, he was on top of Bayard, his teeth inches from the bloodhound's throat. The next few seconds felt like forever to the three animals. Bayard's eyes were fearful, Exel's murderous. Mallymkun could only watch helplessly.

Exel sighed and got off of the bloodhound.

"_Man frigate non ves du_," he said.

_My fight is not with you._

Then, a Red Knight rammed his spear through the fox's torso. Exel let out one short, whimpering yelp, and then he sagged to the ground, completely limp and lifeless. The sharp tip must have pierced his heart.

_Exel…!_

The cardsman sliced off the fox's head and placed it in a sack that was attached to his belt.

"Let's go," he said. "We should report this to Stayne. Come, bloodhound."

The Red Knights marched off, Bayard silently following them. Mallymkun waited until they were out of sight, but then she could stay still no longer. She ran forward, falling to her knees at the side of the fox's body.

"Exel…" she whispered, touching his side.

She couldn't have saved him, not without being killed herself, she knew that. But this had been a friend, and he was dead, dead like her parents, dead like Kedanir…

_They need you…_ Exel's final message was that she had to live. Had he meant for the Hatter and Hare?

She heard soft footsteps behind her, but she didn't move.

"I'm sorry," said Bayard.

"You're sorry." Mallymkun stood up and turned around very slowly.

"You're sorry," she repeated. "How can you just stand there and say that you're sorry? You didn't have to do this! You could have led the cardsmen away! You could have told them that he wasn't with the Resistance! You held his life in your paws and you tossed it away like it was worthless!"

"They have my wife and pups," Bayard protested. "I have to turn people in, or they'll kill the people that I care about…"

"We _all _have people that we care about, Bayard!" Mallymkun was shouting. "Do you think that you're the only one in this world who's struggling? Do you think that you're the only one with problems? Do you think that there aren't others who have been scrounging for survival, trying to keep the people that they care about alive and safe? Do you think that the people that you care about will ever be truly safe if you help to destroy the people who oppose the Red Queen? This was a good and brave person that you destroyed today, Bayard! He knew what had to be done to win this war, and he was doing it. But you aren't doing what needs to be done, Bayard. You're just sitting there and letting people die. Whose side are you on, Bayard? Whose side are you on? You'd better find an answer to that question, and find it soon, because the world won't wait for you to decide!"

Suddenly, she looked up and realized that they weren't alone. Sitting on a tree branch high above them was the Cheshire Cat. _He'd probably been sitting there all morning, just watching events unfold!_

This new revelation was too much for Mallymkun to bear. She let out a cry of anger, frustration, and sorrow, and then she ran away. She ran through the trees, leaving the bloodhound, cat, and dead fox far behind her, and when she reached the tea table she kept running, leaving that, and the Hare and Hatter who sat at it, far behind her, too. She wanted to keep running until it was all behind her. She wanted to run all the way back to Witzend, and to curl up in the mouse hole with her family. She wanted to run all the way back to when she was young and carefree, and when everything had been certain and secure and constant, when she had climbed trees and played with her brother and there was no Red Queen, no Horunvendush Day, and no Resistance…

She ran until her legs gave out, and she fell to the ground beneath a mushroom and sobbed her heart out.

* * *

The smell of smoke reached her nose, and she sat up in alarm, thinking of flames and Jabberwockies. But this was no fire smoke. It was _blue_…

Mallymkun crept out from under the mushroom, and upon looking around she realized that there was a blue caterpillar sitting on the mushroom's cap, smoking a hookah, which was the source of the blue smoke. The caterpillar watched her silently with a steady gaze.

A memory from long ago stirred in the Dormouse's mind.

"You're Absolem, aren't you?" she said.

"That is correct," said the caterpillar. "And you are Mallymkun."

"Yes," said the Dormouse. "I'm Mally… whoever she is. I lost track of that years ago."

"I know," said Absolem.

Mallymkun frowned slightly. "How do you know?"

The caterpillar just took another whiff from his hookah and pointed at a rolled-up scroll that lay at the base of the mushroom's stem.

"Is that… Is that the Oraculum?" Mallymkun asked. Absolem nodded.

"M-May I?"

The caterpillar nodded once again, and the Dormouse approached the scroll. It was slightly larger than she was, but she managed to unroll it by pushing at it with her paws. On the old, yellowed parchment were pictures and day names, just as she had heard it described in her youth. Right in front of her was an image of herself crying over Exel's headless body, with Bayard and Chessur watching. Mallymkun unrolled the scroll further to her left, passing by the days and years until she reached the one day that she wanted to see. In this picture, there was a town on fire, with people and animals fleeing the flames. Towering behind the burning buildings was the Jabberwocky. _Horunvendush Day, _read the name above the picture.

"You knew that this would happen," Mallymkun said, turning to look up at Absolem again. "Why didn't you tell someone? The Red Queen could have been stopped before she even attacked… Everyone would have been spared…"

"I could have," said the caterpillar. "I could have done as you say. However, I have found that it is better to let events unfold as they are supposed to."

"But you could have saved so many lives!" the Dormouse insisted. "Not just in Witzend, but all over Underland! You could have stopped the Red Queen's conquest altogether!"

"I exist to advise," said Absolem. "Not to alter."

"You know that?" Mallymkun challenged. "You know what you're meant to be? I don't. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

The caterpillar shrugged. "You could always read for yourself," he said, blowing more blue smoke.

Mallymkun hesitated. It was tempting. _I have all of the days of Underland at my fingertips, _she thought. _I could know everything, what will happen, who else will die… I could stop them from dying; I could do something useful…_

The Dormouse sighed.

"I don't know if I want to know," she said. "I mean, life's supposed to be an adventure, isn't it? I thought that it was supposed to be one, at least."

"Life is always an adventure," said Absolem.

"Well, mine is not a very good one," Mallymkun replied. "It isn't going anywhere."

"That is not true," said the caterpillar. "Life never stops, Mallymkun. The Oraculum has no end. The choices that people make keep it going ever onward."

"So, things could get better?"

"They could," said Absolem. "They could also get worse. You never know."

"But _you _know," said the Dormouse.

The caterpillar shrugged. Mallymkun turned back to the Oraculum and began to roll it up again, pausing when she neared the end of her task. Slowly, hesitantly, she unrolled it to the right, just enough to see the next day.

_Gribling Day, _was the name. There she was again, with… Her eyes widened. Standing there were McTwisp, Uilleam, and the Tweedles! All four of them were gathered around a girl, who was reading the Oraculum…

"Alice!" Mallymkun gasped. "Alice is returning, tomorrow?"

She rolled the scroll further, eyes passing over day names, until she reached the one she wanted.

_Frabjous Day. _There stood Alice, swinging what was obviously the Vorpal Sword at the Jabberwocky's neck.

"Things could get better!" Mallymkun exclaimed, growing more excited with every passing moment. "They could get better! Oh, where's Alice going to end up here, Absolem? Where is it?"

"The door to Overland," said the caterpillar. "You've seen it before."

"I have! Oh, yes, I have!" Mallymkun leapt to her feet.

"I have to be there!" she said. "If Alice is coming back…! Oh, Tarrant will be so happy!"

She stopped, suddenly serious again.

"It has to be the _right _Alice," she said. "It has to be the Alice who stood up to the Red Queen thirteen years ago. I'll be there, to make sure that it's really her! Oh, I'll be there! Thank you, Absolem! Thank you!"

She turned and ran off again, but this time she was running _to _something, instead of away from it. She was running towards a future that she knew was there, even if she didn't really know how it would work out.

She'd be there to see how it worked out.

_**Fairfarren, mis fairamis**_


End file.
